Girls are obnoxious on social media. My retinas may detach from the number of times I roll my eyes while scrolling through my Instagram or Twitter timeline. As a people, we are insufferable. But it turns out, guys are just as annoying as girls are, only it’s in different ways.
- Posting 87 second Snapchat stories that are clips of the TV show that they are watching.
It’s no more entertaining than the 87 seconds of us scream-singing in bars. - Constantly retweeting sports videos.
Who even watches them besides you? - Or only tweeting vague references to the game that’s on.
“CMON!!!” tweeted right after I ask you to take me on a date WILL be taken the wrong way. - Making their car their profile picture.
Oh wow, is your cousin Optimus Prime? - Posting pictures holding carcases.
The girls who are attracted to that kind of bullshit won’t exactly be catches themselves. - Still posting pictures from their high school glory days.
I don’t care if it’s #TBT, it’s your seventh in a row and we all know that you’ve packed on some serious weight since you were a teenager. - Posting videos of themselves lifting.
Honestly, it could be 40 pounds or 300 pounds and I would not be able to tell the difference. - Mirror selfies.
They invented a front camera YEARS ago. - “Penalty Kick” Pose
The hands-in-front-straight-face is the skinny arm of the male population. - Jackass Twitter replies to the girl they’re trying to bang.
You’re just embarrassing yourself. - Only having four profile pictures, three of which he has braces in.
I‘m trying to avoid the awkward “I promise he’s cute” convo when I’m showing you to my friends. - 12. Retweeting meninist tweets.
It’s like, are you TRYING to be single forever??? - Commenting engagement ring emojis on pictures of famous girls with big butts.
LMK when that actually works out for you. - Tweeting Rap Lyrics With Every Word Capitalized.
It must take way longer to type when you have to do that. - Subtweeting.
@ me next time, bro. - Lame GoPro videos.
Your buddy slow-mo front flipping into the pool in your backyard with trap music in the background is the opposite of tight. NF. - Reply chugs.
It just reminds me of babies drinking out of bottles and it freaks me out. - Monthaversaries.
Do we really live in a time where staying together for a month is impressive?! Bless us all. - Artsy pictures.
You might as well Instagram your man card being revoked because that is essentially what is happening. - Not favoriting my tweets.
I’m hysterical, I swear!
Overall, v unimpressed..