20 Inconvenient Things About The World Ending Tomorrow

1. You said “no” to cheesecake and it didn’t result in marriage.

2. You aren’t famous yet.

3. You acted as a sober sister, and if you’d just deferred until next semester, you never would have had to fulfill that duty.

4. You need a manicure and have suspicions that your nail salon might be closed if a meteor flies through its front window.

5. Your boyfriend was supposed to be someone who temporarily occupied your time. Now you’re stuck with him for eternity.

6. You want to go out with a bang (sesh), but that might result in eternal damnation. Toughie.

7. You were totally going to win Airband this year.

8. …and Greek Week.

9. You JUST mastered the nap and rally.

10. You’re four pounds away from your goal weight.

11. You’ve only tried 22 of the 29 flavors of Burnett’s vodka.

12. You learned how to crack an egg with one hand for nothing.

13. Your boyfriend finally got you the perfect Christmas present (which you know from snooping) and you’ll never receive it.

14. The New Year’s Eve dress you had planned was bitchin’.

15. Recruitment was right around the corner.

16. SPRING BREAK 2013!!!

17. You spent three hours cleaning every inch of your room, just for it to get all out of order in a massive earthquake.

18. Your online order doesn’t come in until December 22.

19. You haven’t graduated so you still have something to live for.

20. You sold your soul for Adderall last week. Bad timing.


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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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