1. Drink any time someone looks cold and depressed in Les Mis. Or whenever you feel an overwhelming hatred towards Anne Hathaway and her abnormally large mouth.
2. Drink when someone bitches about their employer in Horrible Bosses. Also whenever Charlie Day gets riled up and his voice squeaks.
3. Drink every time Seth Rogen gets stoned in any movie ever.
4. Drink every time you see old, cliquey rich people in the Titanic. Chug (in leu of sobbing) when that bitch takes up the whole goddamn door and Jack dies.
5. Drink every time Loki complains about his daddy issues in The Avengers.
6. Take a shot every time someone says “Fuck” in The Wolf of Wall Street. Take two whenever Leo looks fratty as fuck.
7. Chug any time Kristen Stewart looks uncomfortable and stutters in Twilight. Or just take 30 shots before it even starts, because it’s a terrible fucking movie.
8. Drink every time you look at Amanda Bynes in What a Girl Wants and wonder, “Seriously, what the hell happened?”
9. Drink for every high school girl wearing a mini skirt and questionable pointy-toed heels in Mean Girls. Also, whenever Gretchen tries to make “Fetch” happen.
10. Drink every time Josh Duhamel looks remarkably sane in Safe Haven, considering the fact that he’s married to Fergie in real life.
11. Chug something hard before any Leonardo DeCaprio movie because he still has never won an oscar and the world weeps.
12. Drink every time you look at Charlize Theron in The Italian Job and think, “I want her face.”
13. Drink every time Jonah Hill expresses his sexual frustration in Superbad.
14. Drink every time someone is wearing a cardigan in Harry Potter. Or whenever you see Hermoine, because Emma Watson is the most flawless British person in existence.
15. Drink when a large, black lady says something sassy in The Help. Drink again if she follows that up with, “Mmhmm.”
16. Drink every time Jennifer Lawrence makes you question your sexuality in The Hunger Games. Chug when Liam Hemsworth confirms that you’re still straight.
17. Finish your drink whenever a child says something inspirational and teaches an adult a valuable lesson in Mighty Ducks.
18. Drink every time Toby McGuire acts like a total pussy in Spider-Man. Chug when he cries.
19. Drink every time you wonder how the fuck the crew of Back to the Future managed to piece those movies together. And obviously, when Doc says “Great Scott!”
20. Drink every time you feel the urge to reach into the screen and pet Justin Timberlake’s hair in Friends with Benefits. Also whenever he and Mila Kunis have sex and you wish you could get in on it.
Image via Alamo Draft House
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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