Columns

20 Signs You Are Addicted To Tinder

21 Signs You Are Addicted To Tinder

Queen Beyoncé once famously said, “to the left, to the left.” Little did she know that this would become a motto for singles everywhere based off of an application and a legend: Tinder. Everyone has his or her social media addictions, but this “youthful” version of Match.com takes the cake. It is simple, really — swipe left if you aren’t into someone and right if you are. If someone swipes right on you, too, then call up your mom and tell her you may not be single for the rest of your life. In order to avoid catfishing, all account pictures must be uploaded through your personal Facebook page, which has access to Tinder. But in case you weren’t sure if you fall under the “addiction” category, here are some pretty big hints that you’ve hit rock bottom.

  1. It was the last thing you closed out of before you read this article.
  2. You’re trying to remember if it was the last thing you closed out of before you read this article — you use it so much, it’s hard to remember.
  3. Your fingers automatically check Tinder when you are on your phone, because let’s face it, you are basically on autopilot.
  4. You strategically choose a seat in class that leaves you far away from the real-life hot guy who you could actually have a real-time, in-person conversation with, because you don’t want him to see you using Tinder.
  5. Going through Tinder “moments” is just as routine as watching Snapchat stories.
  6. You find yourself numb to unnecessary and unsolicited dick pics because you’ve seen too many to count.
  7. But for real. Who actually likes those?!
  8. You also can’t help but wonder how people have gotten away with posting dick pics on Facebook.
  9. You’ve found yourself bragging about how many matches you have as if you are collecting men.
  10. And you talk about them as if you have real relationships, even though you don’t know their last names: Chad is so funny. I literally have the best time talking to him. He has a puppy. I love puppies!
  11. There isn’t a pickup line in the book that you haven’t heard AT LEAST once before.
  12. You have learned to love pickup lines, and most likely, you have a favorite one: Are you my SAT, because I’d love to do you for three hours and twenty-five minutes with snack breaks in between.
  13. The phrase “there’s no one new around you” makes you feel some kind of strange depression you can’t explain.
  14. You understand the importance of a good bio. It really is a make-or-break deal.
  15. You have blackmail on some of your guy friends because you are the only one who knows about their Tinder accounts.
  16. When you have reached your lowest point, you have randomly messaged old matches.
  17. There are far too many guys out there who know random facts about you, like your favorite food and the show you most recently binge-watched on Netflix.
  18. When you swipe right, you expect to immediately get notified that you have a match.
  19. You have beaten yourself up with regret over accidentally swiping left on a hot guy, because he really could have been your soulmate.
  20. And even though you laugh with your friends about your addiction, ultimately you dream about the day you meet someone from Tinder, fall in love, and get married, all because you happened to swipe right.

Email this to a friend

Ingridono

She is the inspiration behind the sass emoji and certified Sheriff of the Fashion police. When she isn't reciting Childish Gambino lyrics word for word, she's probably doing her better than you're doing you.

1 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More