As much as we all complain about being single, we know that men tend to be a lot more desperate than we are. Every girl is guaranteed to get hit on at least a couple times whenever she goes out. The problem is, these men are no where near the men of our dreams, and we’ve got to find a way to let them down. And fast, so we can get back to our search for Mr. Right or Mr. All Night, whichever you prefer. The best way to do this is to hit him with a one-liner and shut him down quick. There’s no time to waste in this game of love. So when a dude you’re so not into hits you with the “how are you tonight beautiful?,” hit him right back with one of these.
- Oh, so you’re Matt! I’ve heard about you *laughs*
- You know, you look just like my brother. It’s weird.
- What’s your ex-girlfriend like? Is she prettier than me?
- I’ve never slept with a guy before. Wanna be the first?
- That’s my boyfriend’s favorite drink too. Want to meet him?
- How many kids do you want? I can already picture what ours would look like!
- That girl over there is way hotter than me. Like, if you don’t bone her, I might. No, you can’t watch.
- I’ve had a crush on you since freshman year. I used to just stare at you in biology. I’m so glad we’re finally going to be together!
- I’m not looking for anything casual. My mom said I can’t show up to Thanksgiving single anymore. She would just love you!
- It’s so dark in here. How do I even know you’re cute? How do you even know I’m cute?
- Ever wonder what your ex is doing right at this second? I mean he’s not technically my ex. We only hooked up once, but I think about him every day. I think he’s the one.
- I literally slept with you last weekend, you piece of shit.
- I’m sorry, but I’ve been more attracted to produce than I am to you.
- I’m going through a breakup right now and I need someone much hotter than you to make my ex jealous.
- I’m thinking about becoming a vegan.
- I’m only here to get blackout drunk and forget my name. I don’t have time to learn yours.
- I’m pretty sure I slept with your roommate last night. Like 90% sure.
- Do you believe in love at first sight? Because I’m really feeling that guy down at the other end of the bar.
- I don’t think my therapist would approve of you.
- Do I really look that desperate? Is it my hair? My nose?
- Ha, nah, I’m good..
Nice Move235
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Blackout_B
Blackout_B (@b_m4rie) enjoys drinking beer by the gallon and making memories she'll never actually remember. When she isn't embarrassing herself by making out with randos on the dance floor, you can find her pretending it's normal to drink a glass of wine with breakfast every day. It's fun to sit down with her on Sunday mornings and hear how fucked up her weekend was.
@b_m4rie
@b_m4rie
