Every day it seems like there’s a new beauty trend on Instagram. It all started with contouring, and for that I will be forever grateful for, but recently it’s just gotten completely out of hand. Contouring had a purpose — to enhance your cheekbones, thereby making you look slimmer in the face. These new beauty trends are just weird. At this point, I honestly think they’re just making some of this shit up. Here are a few of the latest and not-so-greatest beauty trends.
- Clumpy Mascara
I can’t believe this is an actual ad in stores. Her eyelashes look like a bunch of spider legs haphazardly glued together.
- Bleached Eyebrows
This woman looks like she took a break from chemotherapy at the hospital and went to a photoshoot. Bleached eyebrows just make a person look so sickly. Even with this model’s blonde/almost white hair, it still looks like she just entered remission.
- Glitter Roots
I remember when I dumped an entire bottle of gold glitter into my hair because I wanted it to sparkle. I was seven. Now people are actually doing this to their hair and I simply cannot comprehend why. Wouldn’t that be a bitch to shampoo out? This hair style looks like a child’s art project gone wrong, which brings me to my next point.
- Glitter Eyebrows
If you want to play with glitter that badly, join a sorority. We love glitter. We blow it, throw it in the air, and craft with it. Glitter belongs on a banner, not in your roots or eyebrows.
- Glitter Below The Eyebrows
The glitter trend continues. I’m all for a nice, bright white browbone highlight, but glitter is a bit much.
- Spoon Contouring
Do you have fingers? Can you feel where your cheekbones are on your face? Then you don’t need a stupid spoon.
- Tape Contouring
This looks like a lot of unecessary time and effort. Sure, it helps you clearly map out where on your face you need to put the contour, but considering you just blend away all those lines anyway, it seems pretty useless.
- Baking With Cornstarch
Baking is a makeup technique taken from the drag world that involves packing a ton of loose translucent powder on top of your concealer and under your contour to make the contour sharp and the concealer crease-free. While cornstach is cheaper than some of the better loose translucent powders on the market, baking with cornstarch is not good for your skin, according to Doris Day, MD, a New York City based dermatologist. Cornstarch is food for yeast that lives on the skin. Yuck.
- Bubble Nails
Who would willingly pay money to get these nails? I thought I hated that long, stiletto nail style, but this is even worse.
- Clown Contouring
I honestly just don’t believe this one. I want to see the whole video, because I refuse to accept that a little blending makes all those colors seamlessly fade into gorgeousness.
- Colored Freckles
I love freckles (mostly because I don’t have them), but adding colored freckles to your face makes it look like you have some kind of rare disease.
- Overlined Lips
Girls doing their lip liner like this. Who are u trying to fool. I can see ur real lips. I can see them. pic.twitter.com/SclO5WxTx5
— Niykee (@NiykeeHeaton) January 3, 2015
This isn’t exactly a new trend, but ever since Kylie Jenner took the world by storm with her lip injections, every girl and her sister is overlining her lips. I can’t hate on it too hard since I’ve fallen victim to the craze as well, but I’ve seen it go from full lips to fake lips in an instant. Nearly everyone is doing it wrong. If your lips have raised edges, like the one in the picture, you can’t overline. It just looks too obvious.
- Color Correcting
A majority of the world does not need to color correct. Unless you have really dark circles or rosacea, you don’t need it. But of course, Instagram has made the everyday woman believe she needs to smear five different colors across her face every morning to have a flawless face when in reality all you need is about five pounds of foundation.
- Leg Contouring
Leg Contour! what do you think of this? Done by @nikkifrenchmakeup #highlightingandcontouring #legcontour #mydubai #uae #dubaifashionblogger #fashion #makeup #dubai #sharjah #abudhabi #beauty #tan #selftanner #sexylegs #دبي #نصائح_جمالية #مكياج #تعليم_مكياج #جمالك #بنات #بنات_دبي #الأمارات #كونتور #هايلايت
- Neck Contouring
Thanks to Instagram, I’m now extremely self-concious of the way the back of my neck looks.
- No Eyebrows
The newest trend in eyebrow fashion? Having no eyebrows at all! No more worrying about having to fill them in or glue them down, just shave ’em all off! Trends don’t go out of style in a month or anything.
- Wing On The Lower Lash Line
- Fake Lashes On Eyebrows
Fake lashes aren’t just for beauty pageants and cheer competitions anymore. I wear them nearly every time I go out and I love the way they make my lashes look. The newest trend in fake lashes is to apply them on your eyebrows, not your eyelashes. It adds dimension to the brows and really makes them stand out. If you rock this look on a night out, I guarantee you’ll have all eyes on you.
- Knife Contouring
We had spoon contouring so of course, the next step is knife contouring. A spoon gives you a more natural, curved contour while the knife offers a more harsh, cut look to the face. Want those Kendall Jenner chiseled cheekbones? Grab the biggest knife in your kitchen (the sharper the better) and place it against your cheekbone. You might cut yourself, but isn’t that the look you were going for after all?
- Highlighting With Liquid Gold
There are a ton of highlight powders and liquids out there, but what better to give you that shiny, golden finish to the tops of your cheekbones than a real bar of gold! Sure, it’s expensive ($506,400 per gold brick), but can you really put a price on beauty?
- Your Own Blood As Lipstick
Everyone wants that perfect red shade of lipstick, and what’s a more perfect shade of red than your very own blood? It’s a bitch to reapply because then you have to tend to the wound and all that shit, but beauty is pain, amirite?
Okay, so maybe I made those last few up. But you almost believed it, right? That’s how ridiculous these beauty trends are getting.
I’ll think I’ll just stick to contouring, thank you very much..
Image via Shutterstock