Summer lovin’ had you a blast, but it’s getting colder. The moments you shared with your summer fling were fun and special. You guys did everything would do in a relationship (hold hands, go on dates, anal), but without having to tell your relatives that it’s a little too early to think about marriage. It’s ideal. The romance that surrounds summer flings is so infectious that it makes you think it could last forever. But just as the summer ends, so should your summer fling.
- You’re only going to look worse.
In the coming months you will take your true pale, chubby form.
- Two of his eight points came from you squinting in the sun.
Yeah, he was a lifeguard, but he’s got something weird going on with that one front tooth.
- Winter collars and scarves may cover your well earned hickeys.
Those don’t just happen by accident. You worked hard for that shit. Hiding them would be a disservice to your ability to pull.
- Autumnal colors look terrible on him.
Maroon just doesn’t work on everyone.
- You can’t think of a good Halloween couples costume.
Or he hates Halloween. In which case you should have dumped him in the beginning.
- Fall is a time to rebuild your roster.
You can’t let him get in the way of your hustle.
- He just graduated.
- Half of the fun was sneaking back into your parent’s house.
Without the element of danger, he’s kind of a dud.
- You don’t need someone to put sunscreen on your back anymore.
He is pretty much rendered useless.
- You have a twin bed at school.
Sharing is not an option.
- He’s allergic to pumpkins, which is apparently a thing.
And you are NOT giving up your PSLs.
- He doesn’t like to dance.
You can’t risk having a terrible formal date.
- Mountain weekends.
You’re not gonna not go.
- He’ll be forced to wear sleeves again.
RIP biceps from heaven.
- His favorite fall footwear are Ugg boots.
- Fall allergies are a bitch.
No one looks sexy when they’re snotty and sneezing.
- The holiday season will be here before you know it.
Meeting the parents, buying expensive gifts, eating food normally instead of shoveling it straight into your pie hole. Hard pass.
- You like opposing football teams.
Rivalries can get messy.
- Syllabus week.
You can’t be held accountable for the shenanigans that will ensue.
- Shaving in the winter is a cardinal sin.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- You need to focus on classes.
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