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21 Signs You Just Turned 21

21st Birthday

Hells yeah, betches! You’re 21 and you want everyone to know it, except everything you’re doing already screams, “I’M LEGAL!” Here are the telltale signs you’ve just turned 21.

  1. You boozed through all your classes. (That’s not water in your tumbler!)
  2. Your friends made sure to sing you “Happy Birthday” at an embarrassingly loud volume in the cafeteria at lunch.
  3. Two freshmen already asked you to buy them alcohol. On your birthday. Like, can you not? Would it kill you to give a simple birthday wish first?
  4. You finally discovered the magnificence of drinking a shower beer.
  5. You stopped to pose for a picture, ID in hand, before entering the liquor store.
  6. You were ready to pay way more for drinks than what you would before you were 21.
  7. You bought the expensive stuff–none of that plastic-bottle-sitting-at-the-bottom-of-a-frat-boy’s-closet stuff.
  8. When you got to the checkout counter, your eyes practically begged for the cashier to ask for your ID.
  9. You wore a “birthday girl” sash and tiara that would normally only be socially acceptable for a pageant contestant.
  10. When you walked into the club, it was more like a stumble, and it was only 9 p.m.
  11. You got offended when the bartender didn’t card you.
  12. The bartender got offended when you accidentally handed over your old fake ID.
  13. You just found out that other people are supposed to buy your drinks for the night.
  14. So you used all the money you brought to buy other people shots–who, in return, bought you even more shots.
  15. You realized how much easier it was to flirt with boys at the bar when you told them it was your birthday.
  16. You considered doing this again sometime. What? Not everyone is made of money.
  17. Your purse contained two condoms, two extra strength pain pills, and zero fucks.
  18. Your Instagram blew up all night with birthday pictures you’ll never remember in filters you didn’t even know existed.
  19. You drunk texted your not-boyfriend that you’re ready to get into your real birthday suit, followed with an obscene amount of kissy face emojis.
  20. Your older friends, who know the real truth of 21st birthdays, rescue your blacked out persona just before the moment of self-destruction.
  21. In the end, it’s just like any other night, except the headache hurts more than your bank account this time around.

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premed donna

Who said you can't be smart and funny? When I'm not writing for TSM, you can find me studying into oblivion, downing a bottle of chardonnay, and/or sobbing for reasons I have yet to understand. All hate fan mail can be sent to premed.donna.tsm@gmail.com.

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