- Do I wear flip flops? Or riding boots? Or snow boots?
- Whatever I go with, it better not be fucking white.
- It’s not cold, but I still want to be drinking hot pumpkin-flavored drinks, because fall.
- I want to bring jacket just in case it gets chilly, but then I’ll have to hold it all night when I’m too hot to function.
- Or I could not bring one and run the risk is freezing my balls off?
- Maybe like, a vest? In case there’s a very narrow cold front?
- These fraternities need to work on their themes. How am I supposed to go to “Scarecrows and Country Hoes” when it’s too hot to wear a flannel?
- Should I feel uncomfortable that I’m wearing a scarf in the same vicinity as a girl who’s wearing sandals?
- I really want to wear a jean shirt, but it’s like 90 degrees, so.
- Why the hell is my electricity bill so high?
- Oh, because I’ve been alternating between the AC and the heat like a fucking maniac.
- When is it too soon to bring out my sweaters?
- Why isn’t there an official rulebook for this shit?!
- The only jacket that works for this weather is my raincoat, but it’s not fucking raining.
- Why am I getting invites to pool parties?
- Shouldn’t we be doing, like, bonfires or something?
- It should be illegal for the weather to be hot enough for me to be sweating at a pumpkin patch.
- Is it normal for me to walk to my 8 a.m. class in a hoodie, and leave my noon class in a tank top and shorts?
- Saying goodbye to all my floral prints for the next eight months is going to be a truly traumatic experience.
- But saying hello to all my booties makes the whole ordeal a little bit easier.
- If it’s too cold to wear sundresses to tailgates, what’s the point of even going? .
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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