- They don’t like cuddling. They tolerate it.
- They think it’s “an invasion of privacy” when you read their Facebook messages. Proceed with caution.
- A blow job can end any argument if you find yourself in the wrong.
- A few of them might actually love Magic Mike. Most of them just know it’s the quickest way to make your panties hit the floor.
- They aren’t just pretending not to understand you when you abbreviate. They actually have no idea what the fuck you’re saying.
- Don’t trust them when they say they’re “not that drunk.” In this regard, they’re just like you. Only hairier.
- They have a weird attachment to their t-shirts and expect to get them back. Keep them anyway.
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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