Everyone has their own personal reasons for going Greek. Some girls do it to continue their grandmother and/or mother’s legacy, some join to their home away from home during their college years, and some, such as myself, join for the social aspects. However, there is one common thread between every PNM, active, and alumnae: the recruitment process. Sorority recruitment is like paying taxes or dying, because everyone will have to participate at one point or another. As an initiated member, recruitment is so much different than what you knew as PNM. During the long and tiring week, you will have to outbounce, outclap, and outrecruit every other house on campus in order to secure the best pledge class. You will also have to use every ounce of your energy in conversations to show PNMs how and why they should pledge your letters over everyone else.

But what happens when you view the whole thing as a giant ridiculous dog-and-pony show? You’re not alone. I would have to say that the majority of girls do not list recruitment week as why they wanted to join a sorority. Recruitment really kinda really sucks. Here’s why.

1. A “party” consists of lots of alcohol and poor decisions, not small talk with a stranger.
2. You despise small talk, period.
3. You don’t care what this 18-year-old girl’s major is or what she did over the summer or why she chose to attend your school.
4. Decorating is a chore because you don’t have a crafty bone in your body.
5. It’s not like PNMs are going to really remember the decorations anyway, so why do you need to spend twenty minutes blowing up a giant metallic balloon?
6. It is brutal to wake up at 5 a.m. It is even more brutal to wake up at 5 a.m. and have to do your hair and makeup.
7. Dry week. Ew.
8. You will inevitably lose your voice trying to yell over the house across the street, and for what? A stupid chant war?
9. Nothing is worse than spending all week trying to impress your rush crush, only to feel like a failure when she goes to another house on Bid Day.
10. Some PNM legacies from other houses are bitchy to you, and you have to hold back from what you actually want to say to them. Which is ridiculously hard, because there’s a lot you want to say to that hoe.
11. Standing in heels for nine hours straight is torture.
12. Getting paired with a girl you have absolutely nothing common with is awkward, and you have to resort to talking about something weird to keep the conversation going.
13. There are gallons of boob sweat accumulating in your bra every hour, on the hour.
14. There’s always a few criers on the the next-to-last day.
15. You probably were one of those criers.
16. It is insanely stressful not knowing whether you represented yourself and your chapter well in a conversation.
17. You can’t talk about the crazy stories you and you sisters have had, which sucks because you just KNOW the freshmen are dying to hear them all.
18. If you’re not a warm and fuzzy person, you have to put on a fake-as-shit smile while talking about how genuine your sisterhood is.
19. The whole “fake it till you make it” concept generally sucks.
20. Having to be with 200 girls from sunup to sundown for a week does not bode well for your emotions.
21. There is scrutiny from everyone—your president, your advisors, your recruitment chairs, and PNMs.
22. Just like Marshawn Lynch, you seriously only showed up so you don’t get fined. .

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MartinisandMiddleFingers

She's a fast food connoisseur with a weakness for making the worst decision whenever possible. Dancing on tables is her favorite workout, and she likes her martinis as cold and bitter as her heart.