22 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re In A Committed Relationship With Food

Relationship With Food

  1. Your day revolves about what you’re going to eat.
  2. You’re instantly persuaded to go to another organization’s event or philanthropy if there’s food involved.
  3. You’ve actually been mesmerized by those Facebook cooking videos your friends share.
  4. Seriously? You went on Facebook to stalk people. Now all you can think about is how delicious that buffalo chicken dip looks.
  5. Sometimes the best part of a night out is the drunk food you’ll undoubtedly consume at the end of it. Mmmm drunchies.
  6. C’mon, it’s almost like drunk pizza was gloriously crafted by angels, just for you to devour when you’re shit faced at 3 AM.
  7. You actually get offended when you’re warned that guac is extra. Like bitch, I’m aware.
  8. You follow some kind of food porn account on Instagram or Twitter.
  9. There’s absolutely no debate that food porn is better than actual porn.
  10. You fantasize more about grilled cheese than you do about actual sex.
  11. There are only two guys who can truly satisfy your needs: Ben and Jerry.
  12. Your food Instagram game absolutely kills it.
  13. That picture of brunch you posted last week? Perfection. You made the right choice with the Valencia filter.
  14. Friends who judge you on how much food you eat are toxic. You don’t need that kind of negative energy in your life.
  15. Though, sometimes you wonder how undeniably hot your body would be if you actually had self control when it came to food.
  16. You believe the best gifts are edible.
  17. You wish frats were required to serve snacks.
  18. However, you’re painfully aware that if this was made into a reality, you would have your face buried into a bag of Doritos for the entire duration of the night.
  19. You spend more money than you’re willing to admit on things to munch on.
  20. You’ve experienced a foodgasm before.
  21. Bacon is the solution to all your problems…unless you have high cholesterol.
  22. Everyone has an addiction, yours happens to be food.

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drunk and confused

On an average day you can find me awkwardly asking to pet dogs, searching through frat houses to find my missing wallet, and sending apology texts to the innocent victims from the evening before. Still navigating my way through undergrad life, and enjoying every drunken and confusing second of it

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