- Even after a long night of drinking, you still remember to wash your face, because your mother always said going to bed with makeup on is how you get wrinkles.
- You’ve manipulated your boyfriend into doing things he doesn’t want to do the same way your mom manipulates your dad into mowing the lawn on the weekends. (“You wouldn’t want our neighbors to think we’re lazy savages, would you?”)
- You’ve adopted her rules for dressing “appropriately.” Visible bra straps or panty lines are a huge no-no. Short skirts are okay if paired with a loose or longer top.
- You pick the more comfortable heels over the cuter heels when going out. The more comfortable the heels, the easier dancing on tables will be.
- You keep a jacket and an umbrella in your car at all times in case of emergencies. You also keep half of your closet in there for midday wardrobe changes, which is what your mom calls “clutter.”
- You’ve traded Forever 21 for J.Crew and LOFT. If there’s anything your mother taught you, it’s that quality beats quantity every single time.
- When you look in the mirror without your contacts, you can almost see your mother staring back at you and judging you for not using your night cream.
- You cry when watching a two-minute YouTube video about a baby otter doing something miraculous for another baby otter with some incurable disease. And then you share it on Facebook.
- You know that chipped nail polish is worse than no nail polish.
- You don’t understand the newest slang word, so you end up embarrassing yourself the first time you try. Soooo not “on the fleek.”
- You’ll take any opportunity you can to show off pictures of your dog or cat. (“Your newborn is adorable! Want to see a picture of my little fur baby?”)
- You’re brutally honest to your friends when they ask for it because your mom stopped you from getting blunt bangs in high school, and for that, you will be forever grateful.
- You actually enjoy making to-do lists and the feeling of elation when you check off everything.
- You get unnecessarily angry when people don’t RSVP to a Facebook event. Come on, that’s just good manners!
- Even when eating Lean Cuisines alone in your apartment, you keep your damn elbows off the table.
- You keep enough stuff in your purse to keep you alive and manicured for two weeks in a third-world country.
- You’re finally starting to believe her after all those years of her telling you that nothing good happens after 2 a.m.
- You watch HGTV religiously and you predict how long a couple’s marriage will last based on how difficult their home search is.
- You make your bed. Not every day, but sometimes there’s nothing better than coming home to a freshly made bed.
- There is a correct way to fold fitted sheets and towels, and if someone else does it differently than how your mom taught you, you have to redo it.
- Even if you leave your dishes in the sink, you make sure to wash them off with water, because set-in food stains are a bitch.
- You can’t study until your entire living space is clean.
- You tell all of your closest friends you love them before hanging up the phone, because your mother always makes you do the same thing.
Nice Move673
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Cristina Montemayor
Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).
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