You know what they say about fat bottomed girls? We make the rockin’ world go ’round.
- Squats are unnecessary.
- You have to buy a bigger sized bikini bottom than bikini top.
- Even Nike shorts look a little slutty.
- You can make even the mommiest of mom shorts look good.
- The pants purchasing struggle is real: do I go with too big in the waist, or too small in the butt?
- Jean shorts are woefully uncomfortable.
- Leggings and yoga pants were made for you.
- You consider your backside your best side.
- You know he’s looking while you’re walking away.
- You try to turn to the side a little in pictures.
- Body con dresses WILL ride up and sit on top of your booty after about an hour of being out.
- Pencil skirts aren’t appropriate work attire for you.
- 2 Chainz wants you for his birthday.
- “What a cute dress! I’m buying this for grandma’s birthday dinner.” *turns around and sees view from behind* “Oh. Nope.”
- Guys think they have some sort of right to smack your ass. They don’t. Smack them right back.
- Your booty has some sort of magnetism. Every guy you’ve dated has been an “ass man.”
- Your protruding posterior makes your waist look teeny at the right angle.
- “Dat ass tho” is a compliment you’ve gotten used to.
- When “A$$” came on in the bar or at a house party, you felt obligated to dance on the nearest elevated surface.
- You’ve used the phrase, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly” semi-seriously before.
- Wearing heels makes you feel like Beyoncé.
- Every chair is comfortable.
- You’re the first to suggest taking a picture from behind in front of a sunset, a Ferris wheel, an ocean, a monument, or whatever throwing your letters.