23 Times I Wish I Had Trapped A Man


I’m proud to be a single lady. Yeah, I whine and complain and have a crisis every now and then about dying alone, but for the most part, I’ve got this shit on lock. I’ve never really understood why some girls feel the need to have a boyfriend at all times. It’s just not my style (and also no one wants to date me).

However, I’ve found myself in several situations recently where I wish I had trapped a man for my times of need.

  1. When you want an excuse to go a sporting event just because (or maybe for the ‘gram), but don’t care about sports.
  2. For those times you’re dying to see a movie, but the ticket doesn’t fit into your McDonald’s budget.
  3. Or when you’re really in the mood for Red Lobster’s cheddar biscuits so suddenly it’s a “date night.”
  4. Hunger purposes in general, really. Favor will deliver to your door, but for some reason not to your bed.
  5. When you’re running low on Instagram posts, you’ve got a built in #MCM.
  6. You’ve also got a built in photographer for those “candid” Sunday brunch moments.
  7. When you’re scrambling for a date to a date party.
  8. For Fall: the season of couples galore.
  9. Fall weather demands for stolen hoodies.
  10. During last call at the bar, you don’t have to worry about waking up next to a regret.
  11. Because when you say, “No, I have a boyfriend,” you can say it with the confidence of someone who isn’t a giant liar.
  12. When you want attention.
  13. When you’re moving out.
  14. And when you’re moving in.
  15. Because there’s no way you could lift that dresser.
  16. And attaching your headboard? Forget about it.
  17. For some reason all guys know how to mount a TV.
  18. And they always know where the stud is. Why did no one teach us this skill?
  19. U-Haul? Nah, he has a truck. And if he doesn’t, he has a friend that does.
  20. When you need a drill. All men have drills. It comes included with their birth certificates.
  21. Car. Stuff.
  22. We should all know how to change a flat tire. But alas, we don’t.
  23. Also, stuffing your face in a freshly sprayed with cologne t-shirt. Nothing beats that.

Can’t live them, can’t do manual labor without them.

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email: [email protected]

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