25 Things You Should Cherish Before Graduation

25 Things To Cherish Before You Graduate

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, but don’t worry. We’re here to tell you what you’ve got so you can take full advantage of it before you graduate. Remember: the real world is not only a much bigger place, it is also a much worse place. You should take a look around and cling desperately to the things you love, like free froyo in the dining hall, because once you have a diploma, almost everyone expects you to pay for froyo.

Look–you may do some of these things after you graduate, too, but when it happens, no one is going to be happy about it. Especially the police.

Here are 25 things you absolutely have to appreciate before graduating from college.

  1. Sleeping through more than one meal. Eggs are always better for dinner anyway.
  2. Going more than 24 hours without putting on a bra.
  3. Counting your internships as “work experience.”
  4. Paying for a case of beer with loose change you found in your roommate’s coat.
  5. Buying something. Anything. Like a sandwich, a bottle of nail polish, or Plan B. You won’t be able to afford it after you graduate.
  6. Wearing your sorority gear outside of the house.
  7. Using hashtags during in-person conversations. #blessed
  8. Truly believing that mixology is a real thing. We’re convinced it’s just some made up garbage that allows bartenders to wear stupid vests and charge $15 for a vodka soda.
  9. Ordering Soco and lime.
  10. Making out with a stranger at a bar, then walking to another bar. Making out with a new stranger at that bar.
  11. Pregaming everything. Seriously. Who wants to go to the grocery store sober?
  12. Using “finals” as an excuse not to go to your sister-in-law’s baby shower.
  13. Walking through a drive-thru window. #HiHaters
  14. Referring to friends, past hookups, and roommates by only their nicknames…and having everyone know who you’re talking about.
  15. Eating pizza for breakfast. JK, DO THIS EVERY DAY UNTIL YOU DIE.
  16. Lying about your age to sound older. Trust us, you will never, ever do this again.
  17. Asking your parents for “money for books” so you can buy an ice luge for your house’s Winter OlympiXXX party.
  18. Wearing a costume to a party that’s not on Halloween. Once you enter the real world, your slutty tennis player outfit won’t really fit in at your coworker’s cocktail party.
  19. Taking a walk of shame. In the future, you’ll take a cab. Odds are, you won’t live next door to him.
  20. Visiting Cancun. On purpose.
  21. Getting free toilet paper. It’s more expensive than you think.
  22. Feeling useful because you know how to make Jell-O shots.
  23. Wearing a bikini top with shorts on a weekday.
  24. Telling a guy you’re a virgin.
  25. Waking up early just to drink.

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Alyssa and Alison

Alyssa Wolff and Alison Leiby are stand-up comics and writers. Follow them at AlyssaWolff and AlisonLeiby.

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