25 Total Freshman Moves

25 Total Freshmen Moves

Your favorite things from freshman year don’t exactly stand the test of time. Looking back, you can’t help but question the majority of your choices, like the boys you made out with, the drinks from some sketchy basement you deemed safe to consume, and the extremely dubious outfit choices you made which seemed beyond stylish at the time. Here are 25 things you’ll only do freshman year:

1. Take shots of expensive vodka that don’t make you gag. You’ll soon learn the importance of getting drunk fast and cheap free, a skill you’ll put to good use for the rest of your college days eternity.

2. DFMO (Dance Floor Make Out) regularly and feel like it’s socially acceptable.

3. Meet someone as cool as the senior who dirty rushed you, and learn that joining her house pretty much guaranteed an automatic invitation to Old South.

4. Look past the taste of neon Kool-Aid and Diesel when drinking from “the vat.”

5. Go to your fraternity’s parties with zero awkwardness. You haven’t gotten up close and personal with too many of the brothers yet.

6. Roll up 20 deep on a night out.

7. Take part in conversations with randos about things like their major. You’re still under the impression that anyone might be your new best friend.

8. Drink kamikazes, SoCo limes, tequila sunrises, and dirty shirleys. Eventually it will become embarrassing to have a guy order you those cocktails. Plus, calories exist.

9. Grind with some questionable strangers.

10. Recuperate from a killer hangover in the dining hall (which is the best place to do it). Next year you’ll know too many people that you’d rather not see over pancakes.

11. Get kicked out of the campus bar, which is almost an accomplishment because it’s such an impossible task. Congratulations.

12. Give a spontaneous lap dance in your favorite frat house while dressed as a hula girl. You’re yet to realize that even if everyone’s really drunk, they can still see you getting weird.

13. Hit the ice luge, blissfully unaware of where all those other mouths have been.

14. Vomit on the quad because you don’t know when to call it a night. If you’re still vomming super publicly after freshman year, it’s not a party, it’s a problem.

15. Assume that your first personal invitation to a frat party, and the fact that you received your own bottle of Andre means you’re somehow special. It’s an illusion.

16. Take pictures of solo cups, wristbands, and every single pre-game.

17. Feel the excitement that comes with someone accepting your ridiculous McLovin-level fake ID without question for the first time.

18. Think your RA is a cool person because she ignores the Ke$ha blaring from your room during a three hour pregame. You will soon realize she became an RA, and is therefore, a loser.

19. Publicly indulge in drunken pizza. If you don’t figure it out on your own, standards will let you know that going HAM on a slice is better done in the privacy of the sorority house.

20. Make poor outfit choices. You might wear a denim skirt, or a feather hair extension because you thought it was a good idea (it wasn’t), or *gasp* go out in flats.

21. Drunk dial your friends from home to incoherently scream about how much you miss them. Drunk dialing will later be reserved for sisters…and boys, unfortunately.

22. Crush on a young(ish), cute(ish) professor, until you realize he could never afford you.

23. View freshmen boys as acceptable (though you will always appreciate pledges).

24. Hook up with the coolest senior, because you’re too young and innocent to realize he’s been with every other freshman in sight (for the past four years).

25. Be able to say that the best years of your life are still yet to come.


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Fleur de Lilly

Fleur de Lilly (@margaretabrams) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and Post Grad Problems. When she's not corrupting her big's baby, she can be found decoding texts, gravitating towards raised surfaces, and spending time with her gentleman caller, Jack Daniels. She loves Lilly, Louisiana, and her lineage.

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