You can’t scroll through Pinterest these days without seeing pin after pin touting various “life hacks” to make your life easier. We’re all about easy these days, and who couldn’t benefit from a few helpful hints to hold us over until the eventual invention of robot butlers? After all, no one should have to deal with the inhumanity of bananas that ripen too fast or non-color-coded keys. What are we, animals?

1. If you have trouble folding a fitted sheet, simply never take it off your bed. It’ll stay neat and wrinkle-free!
2. Store your groceries with ease by putting them in the pantry!
3. If you struggle with being tired all day, turn off Netflix before 1 a.m.!
4. To get fit and healthy, go to the gym and stop eating crap!
5. To keep your bathroom smelling fresh, don’t poop in it!
6. Tired of feeling dead inside? Get a dog!
7. Bored and out of shows to watch? Read a book!
8. To keep your necklaces and bracelets from becoming tangled while traveling, wear them all!
9. To make money fast, get a job!
10. To save money, don’t go in Target. Ever.
11. Sex life lacking luster? Date a porn star!
12. Turn a T-shirt into a cute blouse by putting the T-shirt away and putting on a cute blouse!
13. To avoid stains, only eat foods that are the same color as whatever you’re wearing!
14. Neatly tuck your jeans into your boots by buying some skinny jeans! It’s 2015 and you’re telling me you’re trying to shove flared jeans into tall boots?
15. Printer cartridge out of ink? There are stores that will give you a new one in exchange for money!
16. Keep a bottle of wine fresh by drinking it all in one sitting!
17. Losing Instagram and Twitter followers by the droves? Try not being an annoying asshole!
18. Can’t seem to keep up with dirty dishes? Eat everything standing up over the sink!
19. To keep your room clean, don’t throw your clothes on the floor!
20. Tired of you phone battery draining so quickly? Put it away and interact with the world like a real live human being with social skills!
21. Wake up miserable every morning? Reevaluate your life choices!
22. Can’t keep your cookbook open to the right page? Go out to eat!
23. Can’t get people to take you seriously? Take off the fedora!
24. To crack open a coconut with ease, simply toss it off of your roof! Be sure to yell “I’m about to throw a coconut down there!” for legal purposes.
25. To make your eyelashes thicker and longer, apply fake ones!
26. Save time in the morning by sleeping in your clothes!.

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