As a girl who is in a relationship, I consider myself to be the expert on all things boys. In my many years of dating and my current year of a long-term relationship, I have discovered that there are some things all boys love that you should do whenever you get the chance. Since I love you guys, I’m going to share my knowledge and clue you in on some of the things I’ve discovered that all boys love.

1. All boys love when you text them in all emojis.
2. All boys love when you talk only in caps lock. You should do this constantly.
3. All boys love when you go out to dinner and you talk about being on a diet the entire time.
4. All boys love when you talk while they’re watching #sports.
5. All boys love when you steal their clothes and refuse to give them back.
6. All boys love when you cuddle them while they’re trying to play video games.
7. All boys love when you set off the smoke detector every time you try to cook. They think it’s endearing.
8. All boys love when you take up three quarters of the bed, even though you only need about a tenth of it.
9. All boys love when you read their text messages. You just want to be involved in his life!
10. All boys love when you play “Let It Go” on repeat when you’re in the car together.
11. All boys love when you text them incessantly when they’re out with their friends.
12. All boys love when you text them 34 times in a row without a response.
13. All boys love when you add every member of their extended family on Facebook, especially if you haven’t had the DTR talk yet. It shows you’re interested in where he comes from.
14. All boys love when you get inappropriately drunk when you’re out together.
15. All boys love when you’re passive-aggressive when you’re mad.
16. All boys love when you ask them if other girls are prettier than you.
17. All boys love when you order the most expensive thing on the menu.
18. All boys love when you talk constantly in abbrevs.
19. All boys love when you ask them to meet your parents after two weeks of dating.
20. All boys love when you talk about your exes in front of them.
21. All boys love when you make plans with your girlfriends on Saturday night without telling them.
22. All boys love when they take you to the movies and you only want to see a chick flick.
23. All boys love when you force them to consume everything pumpkin-related every single day until December.
24. All boys love when they offer to bring you coffee and you send them a 20-word order that costs $8.
25. All boys love when you force them to be the other half of a cheesy couples Halloween costume.
26. All boys love when you ask them if your dress makes you look fat..

This column was originally published on October 23, 2014

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RecruitmentChairTSM

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

• @TheRecruitChair