Being a girl sucks. You’re expected to not resemble an extra from The Walking Dead without makeup, and look awake and refreshed in that godforsaken 8 a.m. class. It’s a crime. The good news is, you don’t have to be good looking, to be attractive. I know. Woah. Every hot girl you’ve ever seen is one big optical illusion.
Here’s how even you can fool people into thinking you’re a natural glowing goddess of beauty.
- Have long hair.
- Wear sunglasses as much as possible.
- Remove all sweatpants from your wardrobe.
- And baggy t-shirts.
- Keep your facial expression at a constant smize.
- Always be contoured. Even in your sleep.
- To avoid under eye bags, be sure to sleep at least 10 hours each night.
- Keep those eyebrows on fleek.
- Put all the makeup on.
- Glue on those false lashes, girl.
- Line those lips, honey.
- Strut everywhere. The world is your runway.
- Keep FaceTune at the ready.
- Never be caught without a designer handbag.
- Wax everything.
- Have manicured nails. No chips allowed.
- Get those stanky feet pedicured.
- Put highlighter everywhere. You want to be seen glistening and glowing from space.
- Hire someone to follow you around with a fan for that wind blown Beyoncé hair.
- Throw away all hair ties. No more ponytails and buns.
- Spend as much money as you can on high end bracelets.
- Be sure to wear them all at once.
- Never directly look at the camera when you take a picture.
- Never smile in pictures.
- Post a “no makeup” photo while wearing makeup.
- Only hang out with people less attractive than you.
- Evolve into Kylie Jenner..
Nice Move417
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Rachel Page
Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email: rpage@grandex.co
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