1. Your guy friends sometimes (always) forget you’re a girl.
2. No one ever has a tampon to lend you.
3. Or makeup.
4. Or clothes that don’t make you look like a mega shacker.
5. They only time they’re truly useful is when you’re dying for a brew or an inappropriate joke.
6. The freshmen make you feel like a forty-year-old mother figure.
7. You seriously considered (and maybe even went through with) posing for rush boobs.
8. Your guy friends’ girlfriends probably definitely hate you.
9. The battle to win sweetheart is uphill.
10. You’re the permanent source of fraternity gossip among your sisters.
11. Which would be interesting, if 90% of your time at the fraternity wasn’t spent watching your guy friends cuss each other out over video games.
12. You have permanent carpal tunnel from painting so many formal coolers.
13. The floors are somehow always sticky.
14. The amount of fraternity letters you own officially outweighs your sorority tshirt collection.
15. Stealing composites is actually super hard (why does no one tell you they’re so heavy?).
16. You become zero priority the second one of your friends is trying to get laid.
17. The house mother judges the shit out of you on a daily basis.
18. You can’t order food without your fraternal friends attacking it like a pack of wild hyenas.
19. Fraternity women’s restrooms are pretty much across the board disgusting.
20. Seriously, say goodbye to decent toilet paper.
21. Your back often hurts from sleeping on random futons.
22. Everybody assumes you fuck your guy friends.
23. Which you have probably accidentally done once or twice.
24. You dish out a solid thirty bucks on a weekly basis for themed parties.
25. You often have to watch as slutty freshmen twats strut around the place like they own it.
26. The pledges aren’t even a little bit afraid of you anymore.
27. You’ve become completely immune to the walk of shame.
28. You feel like you’re cheating on your boys when you hang out with another fraternity..

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

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