- You appreciate food too much to take pictures of it before you dig in.
- …or you’re just a heathen and can’t resist the urge to attack your meal the second it arrives.
- You and your boyfriend are actual shitshows and don’t partake in cute, picture-worthy activities.
- You got too drunk to remember that you wanted to get pictures that night.
- You’ve never met a celebrity.
- All of your motivational quotes contain profanity and come from reality TV.
- Your room is constantly messy, and thus provides a terrible backdrop.
- You used up all your phone’s storage because you won’t stop saving pictures of dogs online.
- You do a bunch of hoodrat shit that probably shouldn’t be documented.
- You’re too awkward to ask strangers to take pictures of you.
- You’re too awkward in general, and those pictures would probably reflect that.
- You’re not enough of a douche to take a gym selfie.
- Your phone is always dead.
- You won’t stop posting pictures of your dog because you refuse to accept the fact that not everyone thinks she’s as cute as you do.
- You don’t have a boyfriend that looks like a well dressed Hemsworth/Franco hybrid.
- You’re lowkey tryna stay off the grid. Just as a precaution, for all the illegal shit you do on a daily basis.
- You don’t always get around to putting on makeup before exiting the house.
- You don’t like your friend’s pictures as often as you should, so they’re boycotting the double tap.
- Your no makeup selfie looked fucking terrible. Brave, but terrible.
- Your halloween costume was just a little bit offensive.
- You pretty much stopped trying after you abandoned hope for one day hitting triple digit likes.
- Your pictures are all super dark, in an attempt to cover up how shitfaced you are.
- You’re too busy being your friend’s personal photographer to address your own Insta needs.
- Your throwback thursday always depict you and your slutty high school friends as plastered 16-year-olds.
- Standards makes you take all the good posts down.
- Your friends are all fucking gorgeous and you wind up looking like a gremlin in comparison.
- You’re too busy basking in the perfect weather of that exotic, once in a lifetime Spring Break location to be snapping pics of the locals all day long.
- You just really, really don’t give a shit. .
Nice Move204
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
@Lucky__Jo
@lucyjmulvihill
letluuce
lucy@grandex.co
