28 Things Girls Who Can Dance Will Relate To

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Every once in a while, a creature is born into this world and she graces us with her ability to pirouette and plié or twerk and gyrate in ways that make the average girl’s mouth drop wide open in surprise. These girls made a scene at middle school dances. They stole the show during high school proms and have since moved on to sorority formals. If they had gone up against the “Mean Girls” Christmas routine at the North Shore High School Talent Show, they would have won even (gasp!) without the slutty outfits.

If you are one of the lucky ones who fits this description, these are some of the things only girls like you will understand:

  1. At parties, you’re always a spectacle. You both love it and hate it. #celebstatus
  2. You’re basically a superhero and dancing is your secret superpower.
  3. Your friends drunkenly order you to dance on command when they feel like showing off a sister.
  4. Every boy wants to dance with you. ALL. THE. TIME.
  5. But you only want to dance with your gay bestie and gal pals.
  6. You find yourself saying, “sorry, I have a boyfriend,” even though you’re more available than Kim Kardashian during a divorce.
  7. Your blackout persona is pretty much a stripper.
  8. In fact, you were probably a stripper in a past life.
  9. Or anything but a common white girl.
  10. You can’t enter a party without getting thrown onto some sort of elevated surface.
  11. And all the other girls are either cheering you on or giving you a death glare.
  12. The people who live below you don’t understand what the hell could possibly be going on in your room.
  13. Obviously, you memorized the moves to “Single Ladies” on an average weekday night.
  14. Sorority dancing competitions have your name written all over them.
  15. In fact, it would be an insult if the entire chapter doesn’t immediately turn to you when the president asks who should choreograph this year’s Greek Sing event.
  16. Also, cheerleading IS a sport. You have the abs and arms to prove it.
  17. When other girls dance, you’re genuinely confused by what is going on.
  18. But you can’t say you haven’t done the “white girl” a few times, just to fit in with everyone else.
  19. I mean, what else do you do when “Shake It Off” comes on?
  20. You’ve seen every dancing movie that ever existed.
  21. You totally owned that “Black Swan” costume on Halloween.
  22. The musical craze changed your life.
  23. And, in middle school, Zac Efron was obviously your biggest crush.
  24. You’ve now upgraded to a much more sophisticated Channing Tatum obsession.
  25. I mean, he’s basically a younger, hotter, sort-of-male-stripper version of John Travolta. #ladyboner
  26. Except straight.
  27. Speaking of, if you’re a straight guy reading this because you can actually dance, may I give you my number?
  28. Because my one true wish is to one day be that cute, old couple dancing the night away at an elegant event.

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premed donna

Who said you can't be smart and funny? When I'm not writing for TSM, you can find me studying into oblivion, downing a bottle of chardonnay, and/or sobbing for reasons I have yet to understand. All hate fan mail can be sent to

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