The idea that “women can have it all” is not a novel or original concept. The whole #LeanIn movement to having both a successful career and a family sparked more controversy than it should have, because let’s be honest–even hookers have to deal with child rearing.

Since I’m gainfully employed and I (thankfully) don’t have a kid, here’s a list of other things I can #LeanIn to so I can join in the conveniently #hashtagged fun.

1. #LeanIn to my liquor cabinet
2. #LeanIn to online shopping
3. #LeanIn to student loans
4. #LeanIn to prescription sedatives
5. #LeanIn to loose-fitting tunics (perfect for Thanksgiving food babies)
6. #LeanIn to my ex’s Seamless account
7. #LeanIn to my mother’s jewelry
8. #LeanIn to Facebook stalking
9. #LeanIn to painful Hinge dates
10. #LeanIn to a refurbished mid-century bar cart
11. #LeanIn to my delusions of grandeur
12. #LeanIn to applying makeup at work through Photo Booth
13. #LeanIn to a Saturday morning fistful of Advil
14. #LeanIn to fraternity reunions at schools I didn’t go to
15. #LeanIn to my fourth cup of coffee
16. #LeanIn to unlimited brunch
17. #LeanIn to Uber
18. #LeanIn to accepting stereotypes
19. #LeanIn to making Facebook photos private
20. #LeanIn to less Instagram filters, more contrast and saturation
21. #LeanIn to threatening my little brother’s dates
22. #LeanIn to waking up in the fetal position
23. #LeanIn to carbohydrates
24. #LeanIn to dim sum
25. #LeanIn to faking it until I make it
26. #LeanIn to being a “philanthropist”
27. #LeanIn to bringing headbands back
28. #LeanIn to boxed wine
29. #LeanIn to not remembering the weekend, but knowing I had a great time.

Nice Move434

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sarahsolfails

To quote Dr. Seuss, "Being crazy isn't enough." Writer living in NYC.

• @urbanJAP
• @sarahsolfails