29 Things I Would Rather Do Than Work

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The idea that “women can have it all” is not a novel or original concept. The whole #LeanIn movement to having both a successful career and a family sparked more controversy than it should have, because let’s be honest–even hookers have to deal with child rearing.

Since I’m gainfully employed and I (thankfully) don’t have a kid, here’s a list of other things I can #LeanIn to so I can join in the conveniently #hashtagged fun.

  1. #LeanIn to my liquor cabinet
  2. #LeanIn to online shopping
  3. #LeanIn to student loans
  4. #LeanIn to prescription sedatives
  5. #LeanIn to loose-fitting tunics (perfect for Thanksgiving food babies)
  6. #LeanIn to my ex’s Seamless account
  7. #LeanIn to my mother’s jewelry
  8. #LeanIn to Facebook stalking
  9. #LeanIn to painful Hinge dates
  10. #LeanIn to a refurbished mid-century bar cart
  11. #LeanIn to my delusions of grandeur
  12. #LeanIn to applying makeup at work through Photo Booth
  13. #LeanIn to a Saturday morning fistful of Advil
  14. #LeanIn to fraternity reunions at schools I didn’t go to
  15. #LeanIn to my fourth cup of coffee
  16. #LeanIn to unlimited brunch
  17. #LeanIn to Uber
  18. #LeanIn to accepting stereotypes
  19. #LeanIn to making Facebook photos private
  20. #LeanIn to less Instagram filters, more contrast and saturation
  21. #LeanIn to threatening my little brother’s dates
  22. #LeanIn to waking up in the fetal position
  23. #LeanIn to carbohydrates
  24. #LeanIn to dim sum
  25. #LeanIn to faking it until I make it
  26. #LeanIn to being a “philanthropist”
  27. #LeanIn to bringing headbands back
  28. #LeanIn to boxed wine
  29. #LeanIn to not remembering the weekend, but knowing I had a great time

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To quote Dr. Seuss, "Being crazy isn't enough." Writer living in NYC.

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