“There’s nobody I would rather spend Valentine’s Day with than this guy. Blah, blah, freaking blah. I love you so much baby!” –Every girlfriend literally ever on Instagram on Valentine’s Day. But seriously? That’s not original at all. If you really want to make a guy swoon, these pickup lines are the way to do it.

1. My dress is made of girlfriend material…just sayin.
2. I would share my dessert with you.
3. Be my Valentine so I don’t have to be my own.
4. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Let’s go to bed, so I can screw you.
5. You’re more than just a booty call to me.
6. I am not much of a wine girl. I prefer moans.
7. Those are some nice pants. Mind if I test the zipper?
8. Is my vagina crying, or are you just that sexy?
9. I won’t need a spoonful of sugar to go down on you.
10. I’ll be your “alentine” for now. You’ll get the V later.
11. Are you a candle? Because I’m going to blow you.
12. If I make you a Valentine’s Day card, will you agree to be mine?
13. That suit looks nice on you, but then again, so would I.
14. I don’t know what you think of me, but I hope it’s X- rated.
15. Can I borrow a kiss? I swear I’ll give it back.
16. Do you know how to use a whip?
17. Keep eating the conversation hearts until you get the hint to kiss me.
18. St. Valentine would want us to be together.
19. Let’s only let latex stand between our love.
20. I can take my pants off in two seconds. Let’s see how long it takes you.
21. I promise not to break your penis.
22. What’s better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ.
23. I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you tonight?
24. You bring a whole new meaning to the word “edible.”
25. I’m wearing Revlon Colorstay Lipstick. Want to help me test the claim that it won’t kiss off?
26. Do you want to eat a box of chocolate or me?
27. Simon says, “be my Valentine.”
28. Kissing is a language of love… so how about a conversation?
29. My batteries are dead. Can I borrow your wiener?
30. Your hair looks sexy pushed back

Nice Move129

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Kellie Stritz

Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.

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