31 Signs You Go To A Private School

31 Signs You Go To A Private School

  1. You get dressed for class.
  2. That includes full hair and makeup, because you’re not invisible just because you’re sober.
  3. J. Crew and Vineyard Vines are a wardrobe must.
  4. Statement necklaces with EVERYTHING.
  5. You cringe at the sight of backpacks.
  6. Designer tote to carry your school books or GTFO.
  7. You have a summer home in Cape Code, Martha’s Vineyard, or the Hamptons.
  8. Or a winter home in Aspen or Vail.
  9. You obnoxiously refer to Cape Cod as “The Cape.”
  10. Riding boots and over-the-knee boots are a wardrobe staple.
  11. And booties give you life.
  12. Your “causal shoes” are designer leather sandals, because you wouldn’t be caught dead in flip flops anywhere but the pool or the beach.
  13. You had to Google chacos, then looked on in horror, because fugly.
  14. Your school has an accomplished equestrian team and a pathetic football team.
  15. Assuming you even have a football team.
  16. You’ve been to exactly two tailgates. Homecoming and Parents Weekend. That’s it.
  17. In fact, the allure of college football season bewilders you, because even the guys prefer pro sports.
  18. Greek life is small at your school.
  19. You look at pictures of a state school’s new pledge class and wonder if the pledge class is larger than your entire chapter.
  20. Like you’re lucky if you even have enough chapters to designate tiers.
  21. You know not on the names, but the drama, of every girl in your chapter.
  22. If we are being honest, you know basically everyone involved in Greek Life and whoever they date.
  23. There’s a better than half chance you went to a private high school.
  24. The majority of your school comes from money, but everyone insists they “aren’t spoiled.”
  25. Spoiler alert: they are
  26. Class sizes are small, so you develop personal relationships and mentorships with your professors.
  27. Which also makes it extremely obvious when you skip class or show up hungover.
  28. You can list a hundred things that are wrong with private schools.
  29. But you can also list a thousand things that are right with them.
  30. Sometimes you wonder if you’re missing out by not going to a ‘big’ school.
  31. But ultimately, you wouldn’t change your college experience for anything.
  32. Image via Shutterstock

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    Champagne Showers is a contributing writer for TSM. She is your typical Northern Diva. If curse words, sexual content, and drug use offend you, then bless your heart. CS will continue living the life you're too scared to live. email her at:

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