It’s here. After three (or four if you did it right) years of having fun, avoiding the inevitable, and letting the time fly, it’s finally here: senior year. You worked your ass off for good grades (writer’s note: “passing” counts as good grades), you made fantastic, horrible decisions, and you had the best time you’ll never remember with the people who, well, you’ll forget a lot of them, but you’ll remember a few.

While I’m confident that you have done yourself proud (while making your parents and university very un-proud) I want to make sure you accomplish a few key things your senior year, because #ragrets. So behold, senior class of 2015, your university bucket list. Do us proud.

1. Hook up with a freshman and live out all of your cougar fantasies.
2. Finally tell off that girl you hate.
3. To her face.
4. Jump into that fountain, pool, or other body of water that your school honors.
5. Bonus points if you do it naked.
6. Go to class drunk. Like, really drunk.
7. Go on a crawl to all of the shittiest bars that you lost you dignity to during your underclassmen days.
8. Go on that crawl in either frat tanks, letters (sorry, nationals), or dressed as senior citizens.
9. Go to Taco Bell at 2 a.m. (note: this is never a mistake and should be done long after the college years).
10. Be that super slutty nurse/cat/ex-wife for Halloween. It’s time. No judgments.
11. Shotgun a beer before your last final exam (assuming you can doc a few points from your final grade).
12. Eat as many of those giant pieces of pizza from that pizza shop that you swear is original to your college.
13. Revisit the freshmen dining hall one last time and savor the food that made you unable to shop at the store 1-3-5.
14. Make a completely fake backstory and use it to pick up a guy at a bar. When you’re in college, it’s cute. When you’re out of college, it’s just cruel. Trust me.
15. Talk to that guy who you’ve been drooling over for years, because fuck it.
16. Actually, talk to any guy you drool over, because really, FUCK IT.
17. Wear a tiara on your birthday. Once you’re out of college, it’s just kind of sad.
18. If you haven’t done a keg stand, now’s the time.
19. Your frat lap game needs to be strong, grasshopper.
20. Experiment with your sexuality. Now’s the time to find out what you really like with a selection of willing (and easy) people.
21. Have sex in your sorority house because it’s basically a right of passage.
22. Drink during chapter and get away with it.
23. Or don’t get away with it and go to your standards meeting for fun–it’s not like you haven’t deserved to go up until now. Count it as your confessional. #ForgiveMeForIHaveSinned
24. Go to as much free shit as possible. This includes all of those concerts, comedy nights, and early movie viewings. Once you have to pay for those things, you’ll understand how horrible the real world is.
25. If your family doesn’t have a “post-initiation” tradition, start one. And yes, one that would make your standards chair very upset.
26. Actually make it to a football game, not just the tailgate.
27. Get as many shack shirts as possible. The quilt you’ll have someday will make all of the awkward mornings worth it.
28. Stay up all night making horrible decisions instead of studying.
29. Learn how to sneak alcohol into a location where alcohol is forbidden. You’ll thank me later.
30. Go to the school gym at least once, because pretty soon, you’ll have to pay for a membership. And nothing is more depressing than paying for a membership for a place that you don’t want to go to and causes you pain.
31. And make sure to cherish every single moment you get with the amazing people you’re with in the school you will remember forever. Say “yes” to experiences and friends and say “no” to naps and Netflix, because before you know it, you’ll be in the real world where all you want to do (and have time for) is taking naps and watching Netflix. It’s a place where beer bongs at 10 a.m. are history–or, at least, they’re heavily frowned upon.

Nice Move883

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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