- You thought it was totally okay to do eleven shots at the pre-game.
- And then subsequently decided it was acceptable to sleep in the bathtub.
- You woke up with your wallet — but not your fake ID or any of your credit cards.
- Thirteen missed calls from your mom.
- Followed by the “Have you seen your bank account balance? We need to talk.” text from her.
- Guess who ate an entire pizza on Friday at 2am? You did.
- Oh. And you did it in front of an entire fraternity, while blaring Taylor Swift on your phone and crying.
- You tried to fix a broken heel with chewed gum you found underneath the bar.
- “Hi (insert ex boyfriend’s name). I still love you. Call me backkkkkkkkk.”
- Going to Target in sweatpants and greasy hair seemed like a perfectly acceptable idea.
- That is, until you saw said ex boyfriend and he asked why you called him thirty two times.
- You cried in public.
- Like, standing on top of a table in a crowded bar public.
- “I think I lost my fake ID at the last bar. I’ll give you this coupon for a free Subway sub if you just let me in.”
- You spent time in the drunk tank.
- Good news, though: you totally made a new best friend while you were in there.
- Passive aggressive drunk tweets.
- You got in a blowout fight with your best friend over who drank the last shot of vodka.
- You over-drafted your bank account at Taco Bell.
- The cab driver told you that you were by far the worst person to ever enter his car.
- Guess who drunkenly emailed her professor and asked for an extension on that paper due Monday because you “hasd a fAMeily EMERgencyie.”
- Oh, right. That was you.
- You’ve thrown up so many times that your throat actually hurts.
- The guy at the gas station took one look at you in sunglasses, buying Advil, Gatorade, and tampons and just laughed.
- The pre-game was simply too much for you.
- Meaning that you woke up on the couch at 3am when everyone was returning from the bars.
- Your stupid ass didn’t even make it out. Way to go.
- You deleted your texts because it just seemed like the best option.
- Your home legitimately looks like a bomb went off.
- Because drunk you is essentially just a tornado whose favorite activity is ruining the bedroom you spent hours cleaning earlier that day.
- You’re reading this in bed..
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