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32 Nicknames That Are More Appropriate For Fall Than “Football Season”

Fall Not Football Season

Like any self-respecting sorority girl, I’m obsessed with fall. I love absolutely everything about it. But I have to admit that I’m getting a little annoyed with everyone suddenly overlooking all the really amazing things about autumn by calling it “football season.” Since when is football the poster child for fall? It’s actually the thing I try to forget about this wonderful, 50-degree, pumpkin-everything time of year. There are so many other, better things that we could use as a nickname for fall instead of a sport dedicated to men jumping on each other. I think any of these are better suited for our needs.

  1. Pumpkin spice latte season.
  2. Pumpkin spice everything season.
  3. It’s okay to gain seven pounds season.
  4. I finally have an excuse not to get dressed season.
  5. Giant sweaters with leggings season.
  6. I haven’t shaved in a week and nobody knows season.
  7. Get virtually naked in the spirit of Halloween, a holiday that exists for children to dress up in costumes or for weirdos to worship the devil, season.
  8. Visit your family and gorge yourself on turkey and stuffing season.
  9. Time to switch from a cold Starbucks coffee to a hot Starbucks coffee season.
  10. I can instantly transform a bland outfit to a super cute outfit because of infinity scarves season.
  11. Little hunting season.
  12. Let’s just stay in and Netflix because it’s too cold season.
  13. Pre-Christmas season.
  14. Omg, I just love layers season.
  15. Yankee Candle has the absolute best limited edition scents right now season.
  16. Do you think I can pull off this vest? I’m going to buy this vest season.
  17. Haunted house season.
  18. Hayride season.
  19. Made-for-TV Disney Channel Original Movie season.
  20. The leaves are changing, the air smells good, and everything is pretty season.
  21. Go HAM at Hobby Lobby for seasonal decorations season.
  22. Riding boots season.
  23. Slouchy boots season.
  24. Over-the-knee boots season.
  25. Ankle boots season.
  26. Furry boots season.
  27. ALL THE FUCKING BOOTS season.
  28. Textured tights season.
  29. I’m going to wear this slouchy sweater as a dress and no one can say it’s slutty, because sweater season.
  30. I think I could totally be a blazer girl season.
  31. I just love the smell of leather so I bought a new jacket season.
  32. Or, you know, just fall.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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