32 Ways To Feel Mildly More Put-Together

32 Ways To Feel Mildly More Put-Together

  1. Wear a matching bra and underwear.
  2. Hell, get wild, matching socks too!
  3. Separate out your laundry loads.
  4. Buy bleach.
  5. Google “how to use bleach in you laundry.”
  6. Put on eyeshadow.
  7. Even if it is only sparkly beige.
  8. Stop using that dried out mascara.
  9. Then actually remember to throw out that dried mascara.
  10. Buy a vegetable.
  11. Cook it.
  12. Or, forget about it and let it rot in the fridge over the next week. Baby steps, people.
  13. Remember to use your CVS Extra Rewards Cash before it expires.
  14. Buy little pouches to house the various bits of bric-a-brac in your bag.
  15. Use words like “bric-a-brac.”
  16. Actually use that day planner that you spent three months carefully selecting.
  17. Start always carrying a pen around so you can actually write things in your planner.
  18. Also use that pen to start making grocery lists instead of blinding grabbing a random slew of items and hoping for the best.
  19. Feel perfectly okay with using that stupidly omni-present pink highlighter that’s floating around the depths of your purse on the off-chance you forget to bring a pen.
  20. Buy a to-go coffee cup.
  21. Youtube “how to do a squat.”
  22. Throw out your old high school mock trial t-shirt with the benzoyl peroxide stains.
  23. Contact your dermatologist about refilling your benzoyl peroxide prescription.
  24. Try to find a way to make kale less disgusting.
  25. Decide that maybe you’ll just stick to baby spinach.
  26. Run one consecutive mile.
  27. Leave the gym immediately after, despite only having been there for twenty minutes.
  28. Upgrade your gym gear.
  29. I.e. stop wearing that benzoyl peroxide-stained mock trail shirt to the gym.
  30. Wait, weren’t you supposed to throw that out roughly seven steps ago?
  31. Start actually following the advice on this list.
  32. Or live your freaking life. Your call.

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I came for the wine, but I stayed for the complimentary appetizer sampler plate.

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