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32 Ways To Pretend You Are Abroad This Summer

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  1. Check in at your local airport via Facebook.
  2. And post any old photo from an airplane window.
  3. Drink only at local coffee shops the entire summer.
  4. Bonus points if they have foreign names.
  5. But make sure to only order espressos.
  6. Because frapps doesn’t exist in Europe.
  7. Take a ton of ~artsy~ photos in front of old brick buildings.
  8. And caption said photos with a vague Italian phrase.
  9. Eat artisanal ice cream at least once per week.
  10. Or invest in a cute bowl and just eat generic ice cream.
  11. But make sure to update Snapchat with pics of said dessert.
  12. Attempt to learn basic French or Italian.
  13. Practice said language when ordering ice cream, pizza, etc.
  14. Inevitably give up and order in English.
  15. Blatantly ignore America’s 21+ alcohol laws and go clubbing.
  16. But make sure it’s on an obscure weekday.
  17. Find a cute foreign boy on the dance floor.
  18. Pretend he’s foreign, at least.
  19. Make him drive you back to his flat on his moped.
  20. But ubering back to his apartment will do, too.
  21. And in the morning, force him to make you crepes.
  22. Or pancakes.
  23. Find authentic bakeries in your hometown.
  24. And if that fails, I hear Dunkin’ Donuts has great croissants.
  25. Or try a toaster strudel.
  26. Those are German, right?
  27. Locate a field of flowers.
  28. Or your mom’s garden.
  29. Take a candid photo while frolicking amongst the flowers and plants.
  30. Check in at any European airport via Facebook.
  31. Post a mandatory, weepy paragraph about having to come home.
  32. Endlessly complain about Western culture when you “return.”

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PSLsandPearls

PSLsandPearls has been shotgunning lattes and looking good since the mid 1990's. In her free time, she cuddles with any animal she can find and incessantly bitches about how busy she is. You can email her at [email protected] (note the single PSL).

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