- Kick down perfectly functioning doors.
- Jump on and destroy folding tables.
- Throw TVs and various furniture off of balconies, just for shits and gigs.
- Drink dip spit for money/pride.
- Write shit on the walls.
- Smash bottles.
- Steal shit, like street signs, traffic cones, and your virginity.
- Fight each other.
- Attempt karaoke, though they know they cannot sing.
- Piss on appliances and electronics.
- Piss on all of the things, really.
- Text every female in their phone for the slim chance of getting laid.
- Light shit on fire.
- Overshare intimate details of their lives with Uber drivers.
- Wrestle.
- Tell guys they don’t really like, “I love you, man.”
- Get arrested.
- Whip out their dicks and/or testicles.
- Have sex with ugly chicks.
- Punch holes in walls.
- Make existing holes in walls significantly larger.
- Pass out with their heads in toilets.
- Haze younger, lesser men.
- Cocaine.
- Tell strangers the story of their life.
- Experiment with fire extinguishers.
- Pick up women and carry them around like vikings.
- Sing “Wagon Wheel” absurdly loudly.
- Eat copious amounts of Taco Bell.
- Impulse buy shit they don’t need from Amazon.
- Vomit in inappropriate places.
- Like in the sink. And in your hair.
- Decide to take spontaneous naps in the middle of sidewalks and parking lots. .
Nice Move209
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to [email protected].
@Lucky__Jo
@lucyjmulvihill
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