We’ve all thought about what we’d do if we won the lottery tonight. I mean, becoming a billionaire isn’t easy. There’s a lot of planning to do once you win. That’s why I’ve compiled this list of everything I would (and you should) do if the massive winnings happen to fall upon one of our pathetic bank accounts. May the odds be ever in our favor.
- Pay someone to make the sickest recruitment video ever in the history of drones.
- Hire professional actors and comedians to perform all recruitment skits.
- Take the new members on an all-expenses-paid vacation as a Bid Day surprise.
- Set up a trust fund for chapter events (AKA booze and drunchies but nationals can’t know that).
- Pay off all my sisters’ standards fines for the rest of time.
- Might as well pay off their student loans while I’m at it.
- Buy a small, private island for exclusive spring break “sisterhood events.”
- Hell, why not buy a cruise ship that will take us to the island, too?
- Build the biggest, most beautiful sorority house the world has ever seen.
- And hire a male model as the house butler.
- And make him wear nothing but a thong and bow tie at all times.
- Buy round trip tickets for my little and me to visit her favorite city for her birthday.
- Continue to spoil her with presents as usual, except with more diamonds.
- Pay a world-renowned artist to make me a new cooler.
- Donate a million dollars to my chapter’s philanthropy—every year for the rest of my life.
- Donate to a bunch of other charities (and coincidently cure every problem known to man).
- Buy so many shoes that I never have to worry about them getting ruined when I go out.
- Hookers and cocaine.
- Just kidding, you guys. But if it ever happened, at least I’d have money for rehab.
- Pay Mindy Kaling to be my best friend for a day. (Obviously, we will be BFFs afterward, without even paying her.)
- Create my own fitness line with the Kardashians.
- Get trained by the Kardashians’ trainer.
- Pay someone to do my eyebrows like Kim’s. Every. Single. Day.
- Bascially, become a Kardashian.
- Buy my own helicopter and personal pilot to fly my date and me to formal.
- And show up wearing Marilyn Monroe’s very own “Happy Birthday” dress.
- Did I mention my date is Liam Hemsworth?
- Buy a different mansion for every month of the year.
- And have a hot tub and waterfall shower installed in every bathroom.
- Promise my parents I’ll never ask for money again, and buy them a multimillion dollar retirement home as a thank you for putting up with me for all those years.
- Marry the guy I’m with because he “loved me before the money,” but also get a prenup because I’m not dumb.
- Buy a cat sanctuary just in case it doesn’t work out and I end up alone forever.
- Switch my major to finance because, like, I know nothing about what to do with this money..
Nice Move436
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