Columns

36 Reasons To Be Thankful You’re An American

American

“The land of the free and the home of the brave.” It’s a saying we all grew up with. We’ve sung it countless times, we’ve worn it on t-shirts and hell, we’ve changed our Facebook status to “Land of the free and the home of the rage” when we went a little too hard on the Fourth of July. We never forget that America is all about freedom, but what about the second part? The home of the brave? Sure, we’ve all brave in our own ways. We’ve built up the courage to talk to a cute guy, we’ve taken exams without much studying, we drank beer before liquor. See? Brave.

But we’re not the “brave” ones our countrymen are singing about in the nation’s anthem. We’re talking about our grandfathers, our aunts, our boyfriends, our sisters, and our parents. The men and women who sacrificed their liberty, their safety and their peace of mind to grant us the freedom that our country stands for, the freedom that makes us proud to be who we truly are, and proud to be Americans. “The brave” are those who gave us that freedom, the freedom to do all the little things we take for granted:

  1. You have the right to wear whatever the hell you want and be true to your own personal style. Including cat shirts.
  2. Especially cat shirts.
  3. You get to post pictures, videos and memories on the internet without (much) censorship.
  4. Selfies? You have the freedom to post however many of those you want, even though everyone hates you for it.
  5. And guess what? They have the right to hate you for it, because this is America.
  6. You have the right to a free education, which is actually invaluable.
  7. And you are even more blessed to have the ability to earn a higher degree from some of the most amazing universities in the world.
  8. You get to live wherever you want in the country without government say.
  9. And if you want to leave the country, Uncle Sam will give you his blessing and send you on your way.
  10. You get to chase your dream job to your heart’s content.
  11. Phone sex operator? Surgeon? Teacher? You get to do whatever it is that you want to do.
  12. And while you’re living where you want and doing what you want, you get to go to sleep at night feeling safe and protected.
  13. You have the right to show off your beautiful, long hair, instead of covering it up.
  14. And you also have the right to chop all of your hair off, if that’s the style you’re feeling.
  15. You have the right to love whomever you want.
  16. And you have the right to strive for marriage equality if that’s an issue you feel strongly about.
  17. In fact, you have the right to strive for change in any issues you feel strongly about.
  18. You get to wake up every morning without the fear of a bomb blowing your house up.
  19. If you want, you can watch television shows about real things like sex and violence without government intervention.
  20. Heck, you can even watch shows that make fun of our government without government intervention.
  21. And these shows exist! The government allows them to be aired nation-wide.
  22. Because you’re allowed to hate the president and hate the congress and hate everything and that’s your right!
  23. You get to take pills to prevent pregnancy so you can have a fulfilling sex life.
  24. And you can have a fulfilling sex life out of wedlock without being shunned, stoned, or even killed.
  25. You get to flaunt your body or cover it up and it’s totally cool with America.
  26. You can worship whoever the hell you what, whenever the hell you want, and wherever the hell you want.
  27. You get to drink beer.
  28. You get a say in everything from medical marijuana to the leader of our country.
  29. You’re allowed to have a gun, if that makes you feel safe. And the USA is totally down with that.
  30. But you’re not afraid of waking up in the middle of the night to the sounds of gunshots and an overthrown government.
  31. You get to have a pet dog and don’t come home from work each day wondering if someone ate it. Because yes, that’s a thing some places.
  32. You aren’t afraid of getting married off to a guy with seven other wives at the age of thirteen.
  33. And you can choose never to get married and the country is cool with that.
  34. Daughters? We love those here. Sons aren’t the only children that bring pride in America.
  35. That beautiful, beautiful flag.
  36. And the true freedom of living the lives we want in a safe and beautiful country.

The point? We can do whatever the fuck we want and it’s all thanks to the brave, selfless, and courageous Americans who fought to make our lives so wonderful. They fought selflessly for us, and we owe them our safety, our liberty, and our freedom. So make sure you thank the men and women who make YOU thankful every day to be a part of this amazing country. Happy Veterans Day to all of our brave heroes.

Email this to a friend

Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

2 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More