This might sound a little crazy, but I spend a good amount of time thinking about my future daughter. Not in like a “what will she look like, I can’t wait til she’s born” kind of way, because I can barely handle my dog and there’s no way in hell I’m prepared for a child. But in a “good lord, I hope she doesn’t make the same mistakes I’ve made” kind of way. If I could have just one wish for her, it would be that she doesn’t have to learn all the lessons I’ve had to learn the hard way.
- You can’t handle that fifth shot of tequila.
- Take it anyway, it will be fun to hear what you did tonight at brunch tomorrow.
- There will always be another boy.
- But there may not always be another friend. Don’t let him come between you.
- People grow apart after high school. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just part of growing up.
- Boys will always, for the rest of your life, be stupid.
- But when you find that one that’s a little less stupid, hold onto him.
- Never ask a man if something makes you look fat. It’s a losing situation for both of you.
- Studying is important.
- But so is your social life. You won’t remember every test you stayed up all night cramming for, but you will absolutely remember the night Sarah slapped that guy across the face.
- You think vodka is your friend tonight, but just wait until the morning.
- Go Greek. It doesn’t have to be my organization (even though I hope it is), just try it.
- Buy the shoes.
- Your dad loves you, even when he’s calling to tell you that you overdrew your account for the third time this semester.
- I’m always right.
- In fact, you come from a long line of women who are always right. When you grow up, you’ll always be right too.
- He’s an asshole.
- Date him anyway. Heartbreak is a part of life.
- Don’t you ever, ever change yourself to make some boy like you.
- But always recognize the difference between someone trying to change you and someone trying to help you grow.
- Not all friends are best friends, regardless of how long you’ve known them.
- Don’t ever be afraid to cry. Feel what you need to feel.
- Your ex’s new girlfriend is not your enemy. Neither is your new boyfriend’s ex. Let it go.
- Everyone hates something about themselves, even models and that super gorgeous girl that sits next to you in your chemistry lab.
- Always apologize.
- Your reputation actually is important.
- If you wouldn’t want someone to text it, tweet it, share it or say it about you, it’s not something you should be saying about them.
- It’s not you, it’s him.
- Unless it is you. Because sometimes you do screw up.
- Not every guy is worth giving your heart to. It’s okay to date for fun.
- Be selfless. Always give what you can. But don’t ever let people walk all over you.
- No matter what TV and magazine articles tell you, it’s okay to enjoy and want to have sex.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously. It’s important to be able to make yourself laugh.
- Not every sister that breaks a rule deserves to be sent to standards. Cut the girls some slack every now and then.
- Never be friends with someone who makes you feel bad about who you are.
- Most importantly, know who you are and love yourself. Know that I love you, even now, as I write this at 22, nowhere near ready to meet you. Know that there is nothing you could ever do to make me not love you. Know that you are beautiful, and strong, and enough. Know that no matter what path you take in your life, I will be proud of you. I will always support you. I will always love you. Take these lessons to heart, so that you don’t have to waste the time that I did learning them..