37 Really Sucky Things That Still Suck Less Than Graduating


There’s a lot of shit in life that really sucks. Like, really sucks. But of all that, graduation just might suck the most. After four years of never ending parties, consistant drunk hookups, and very few responsibilities, you’re thrown into the real world — a thing you know nothing of. And while we might think we have it hard, there’s no way any of these things are as bad as giving up thirsty Thursday for some pantyhose and a 401k.

  1. Getting a manicure and immediately smudging it.
  2. Realizing you’re out of alcohol right before leaving for the pregame.
  3. Brassy highlights.
  4. “But it feels so much better without a condom.”
  5. Getting your card declined at the bar.
  6. Tripping in your heels on uneven ground, and having everyone think you’re just drunk.
  7. Getting a regular Coke instead of a Diet Coke.
  8. Having vodka cran sloshed all over your white skinny jeans.
  9. Someone asking if you’re a freshman and dying a little inside.
  10. Losing only one earring.
  11. Having no boys come up and talk to you at the bar.
  12. Having only ugly boys come up and talk to you at the bar.
  13. Only realizing after you left home that you applied wayyy too much bronzer.
  14. Hickies.
  15. Running into your ex when your hair is channeling its inner Helena Bonham Carter.
  16. Getting to the gym and realizing you left your headphones at home.
  17. Unwanted dick pics.
  18. Pads.
  19. Spanx. And the fact that you just might actually need them.
  20. Needing to pee while wearing a romper.
  21. Backpack sweat marks.
  22. He finishes. You don’t.
  23. When your hair is up in a perfect ponytail, but then your sunglasses get stuck in your hair.
  24. Breakouts of any kind.
  25. When you don’t get the follow back.
  26. “Read 11:27 p.m.”
  27. Losing your rush crush to your rival house.
  28. “Hey so what are we?” — right as you’re boarding the bus to formal.
  29. Starting your period the day before a date party.
  30. Getting a shack shirt that has sorority letters on it.
  31. Sorority letters that aren’t yours.
  32. Being called to standards.
  33. Being called to standards for something you actually didn’t do.
  34. Strapless bras.
  35. 99 Instagram likes instead of an even 100.
  36. When the show you’re watching gets taken off of Netflix and you only had a few episodes left.
  37. Catching the feels.

Still better than being an adult.

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PlattyBlonde is a senior who divides her time responsibly between cheap alcohol, bad boys, and worrying about her hair.

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