You hate babies but love dogs. No, I don’t want to hold your baby so please don’t ask me to.
The idea of cuddling makes you want to vomit. Thanks for the sex. Now kindly get the fuck out.
When your friends ask you for relationship advice, your response is always brutally honest. “He isn’t giving you mixed signals; he just doesn’t like you. Move on.”
You’ll try to comfort a friend who just had her heart broken, but you really don’t understand why she’s still hung up on this guy. He cheated on you. Why do you still care?!
Some girls cry when they’re drunk. You point and laugh at those girls. You’re getting tears in my vodka soda.
The guy you’re currently seeing admitted that he liked you and your response was “okay.” I’m not going to lie and say I reciprocate when I don’t.
You’re not a relationship person. Relationships are boring. Being single is so much more fun.
You have feelings. You just don’t like sharing them. Keep that shit to yourself, buddy.
You spiritually relate to Samantha from “Sex And The City.” When she says to Richard, “I love you, but I love me more,” you’ve never related to something more in your entire life.
You’ve come close to dating a few guys, but in the end you just couldn’t do it. It’s better off this way, for both of us.
You’ll go on dates with guys who you have no intention of dating because free food. “Dinner? Sure. What about that new fancy French place where they fold your napkins into a swan when you get up to go to the bathroom?”
When you start hanging out with a guy more often and he does the whole “I’m not really looking for anything serious” speech and you have to tell him that just because you’re sleeping together doesn’t mean you want to be his girlfriend. It’s possible to sleep with someone and not have any romantic feelings about it.
You always bring guys back to your place if you want to hook up. No walks of shame for this bitch.
You’ve broken a guy’s heart before and felt kind of bad, but mostly relieved. Yup, I’m definitely going to hell.
You don’t catch feelings. Just crushes. Lots and lots of crushes.
You’re guilty of letting an ugly guy buy you a drink and then walking away right after the bartender hands it to you. “Sorry, I have to go find my friends.”
Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: firstname.lastname@example.org (not .com).