I’m not going to lie, being professional is actually super hard. You need to wear those awful wide-legged pantsuits while avoiding low-key sexual harassment from that creepy guy in the office. Oh, and you can’t forget a killer résumé. But what to put on it?
- Being able to drink an entire bottle of wine alone.
- And helping your friend finish hers.
- Jumping to conclusions.
- The ability to shove an entire package of fruit snacks in your mouth.
- Flawless drunk texting.
- Using curse words excessively.
- Creating the perfect playlist for any occasion.
- Or Instagram caption.
- Or subtweet.
- Or a clever/cute Facebook album name.
- Having a perfect combination of passive-aggressiveness and sarcasm.
- Being able to spot a fuckboy from a mile away.
- Pretending you have your shit together.
- Giving drunk pep talks to random girls in bar bathrooms.
- Being fluent in emojis.
- Quoting movies at inappropriate times.
- Navigating 40+ weeks back in someone’s Instagram without incident.
- Perfecting matching a spirit jersey to your norts.
- “Forgetting” to count the calories of that ice cream you just ate.
- Ugly crying.
- Finding the most fun dates for sorority functions.
- Spending money that you don’t have.
- Avoiding any and all responsibilities.
- Discretely rolling your eyes when annoyed.
- Bitching about your problems.
- Drinking alarming amounts of coffee.
- Texting faster than you can talk.
- Hiding how hungover you are.
- Having an unhealthy amount of water bottles.
- Not washing off your makeup before bed.
- Crafting basically any hard surface.
- Stealing shirts/sweatshirts/sweatpants from boys.
- Overusing the word “like.”
- Planning your entire wedding with a guy you just met.
- Sorority-squatting for every picture.
- Binge-watching Netflix.
- Effectively friend-zoning.
Although most of these things are considered to be valuable abilities among college girls, maybe you should just keep these to yourself..
Nice Move187
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