38 Thoughts You Have Leaving Your College Town And Driving Home For The Last Time

38 Thoughts You Have Leaving Your College Town And Driving Home For The Last Time

  1. Everything is all packed up. Just need to return my keys and check out.
  2. No dad, I don’t want pictures in front of my door. Wait in the car.
  3. *Snaps selfie in front of door after dad leaves*.
  4. I forgot how prison-y my room looked without stuff in it.
  5. This is weird. I don’t like this.
  6. *Turns in keys, looks around one last time, starts weeping*.
  7. Just one last frat lap, for old time’s sake.
  8. Goobye Theta Chi! Bye Pike! See you soon Delta Chi! I’ll miss you Sig Ep! Kappa Sig, darlings, I loved you most, farewell!
  9. Ok, just 8 hours between me and my bed at home, I can do this.
  10. Wait but this is my home!
  11. I need to go back.
  12. I can totally stay with Jenny in her apartment this summer.
  13. I can work at my favorite bar! Fuck an internship!
  14. I have most of my cute stuff in my car anyway. My parents can just hold onto the stuff in the van for the summer.
  15. No, I can’t go back. I already cried. I already said goodbye to everyone. Everyone cool is going home for the summer too.
  16. Oh man, I’m going to cry again.
  17. *Cries for an hour*.
  18. Wow, that made the time pass so quickly!
  19. Ok, feeling upbeat again. Future! Jobs! Cuter clothes! More mature guys! Yes! I might be able to do this whole growing up thing after all.
  20. Six hours left. Ok.
  21. Fuck I’m bored.
  22. Ugh I need to check my messages. But texting and driving kills.
  23. *Checks messages anyway, nearly hits a cow*.
  24. Can I hire a copilot or something?
  25. I’ll just call Danielle and see how she’s doing. Bless hands free calling.
  26. Holy shit I miss her so much already.
  27. Seriously though, is it too late to turn around?
  28. Fuck I need to get gas.
  29. Jesus I really am in bum-fuck nowhere.
  30. Oh my God this gas station is too sketchy.
  31. Fuck, fuck, fuck this dude is going to murder me.
  32. I can see the headlines already: “Former sorority girl never makes it home: slain by sketchy mustache man”. Sounds legit.
  33. I need to pee so bad.
  34. Eh, I’ll hold it. This seems like the kind of place that’ll get busted in a decade for having hidden cameras in the ladie’s rooms.
  35. If fraternity parties have taught me one thing, it’s how to hold my pee.
  36. Oh my god, fraternity parties! I miss them. What am I supposed to do without them? Where will I get hunch punch??
  37. *Sobs the rest of the way home, gets steering wheel wet from tears*.
  38. Basically, your solo drive home is 100% the time to wallow in self-pity.

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PlattyBlonde is a senior who divides her time responsibly between cheap alcohol, bad boys, and worrying about her hair.

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