It might be hard to believe, but girls are actually incredibly gross creatures. Yeah, we know how to turn our hair from a rat’s nest into a bombshell blowout, and we can wear the shit out of a bodycon, but when we’re alone, all bets are off. We get to be gross, lazy, bizarre humans because no one is there to judge us. It’s not weird if no one saw you do it, right? Right. Here’s a few of the strangest things girls do when no one’s looking:

1. Stare in the mirror but not do anything, just stare at yourself for long periods of time.
2. Pick at split ends.
3. Stalk your ex.
4. Stalk your ex’s new girlfriend.
5. Stalk your ex’s new girlfriend’s brother’s childhood best friend’s college roommate’s sister.
6. Think about penis.
7. Not like, sexually, but why are they so soft?
8. Eat icing out of the container with a spoon.
9. And by spoon you mean your finger.
10. Try doing the splits, even though you haven’t been in dance/cheer for four years.
11. Lay on the ground for a long period of time, immediately regretting doing the splits.
12. Peel off your gel manicure.
13. Go through every photo on your phone picking out #TBTs for the next four Thursdays.
14. Get to the pictures of your ex and angry cry.
15. Think about organizing your closet.
16. Decide against it.
17. Think about using this free time to exercise.
18. Do five crunches.
19. Give up.
20. Take a shower and lay around in your towel for like, five hours.
21. Feel yourself up. Again, not sexually, but sometimes touching your boobs feels nice.
22. Squish your boobs together. And then flatten them. Repeat.
23. Put a pillow in your shirt to see what you would look like pregnant.
24. Take a million selfies. Send all of them to your best friend.
25. See what you would look like with a middle part.
26. Nope. Sticking with the side part.
27. Have full out loud conversations with yourself.
28. Or your dog.
29. Go on Pinterest looking for a recipe and end up learning 34 ways to braid your hair.
30. Practice giving a sexy strip tease, even though you never plan on actually doing it one day.
31. Have fake conversations with people you hate.
32. Have fake conversations with people you love.
33. Put on heels with any outfit and strut around like a supermodel.
34. Tweeze. Like any area, though. Lip, eyebrow, belly button, arm, that one hair on your ankle you can never get no matter how thorough you shave.
35. Put on a face mask and leave it on for way, way too long.
36. Watch emotional YouTube videos and cry. A lot.
37. Look at yourself in the mirror while crying to see if you’re a pretty crier.
38. Pop all the pimples.
39. Masturbate..

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Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).

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