Columns

39 Things Only People Who Are Skinny-Fat Understand

IMG_0733-600x600

There’s nothing wrong with being skinny-fat. Again, for the people in the back: there’s nothing wrong with being skinny-fat. It’s simply a body type, just like petite or thin or athletic. Skinny-fat is someone who is not quite skinny, but not quite fat either. You’ve got love handles and maybe a few pounds hanging around, but for the most part, you look outwardly “skinny.” It’s a strange body type to have, but you love it because it’s yours. Here are a few things you’ll only understand if you’re skinny-fat.

  1. You know exactly what styles you can and can’t pull off.
  2. Crop top? No. Shift dress that pulls away from your body? Yes.
  3. You look for fabrics and clothing types that skim your body, not cling to it.
  4. You never wear a bathing suit without high-waisted shorts.
  5. You don’t really know what a diet is.
  6. You just eat the food you want and your body pretty much stays the same lump of mush.
  7. Not a bad lump of mush, but not a great one either.
  8. You’re not bothered by your body type enough to do anything to actually change it.
  9. Sure, you could stand to work out a few days a week.
  10. And maybe cutting out a few carbs and alcohol would help you shed those few pesky pounds.
  11. But you won’t do any of that, because you’re perfectly fine with looking mediocre.
  12. Your fitness habits are inconsistent at best and nonexistent at worst.
  13. Your diet consists of ordering a salad every two weeks when you feel bloated and eating whatever you want the rest of the time.
  14. Your fast metabolism is a blessing and a curse.
  15. On one hand, you can eat whatever you want and still look decent.
  16. On the other hand, you have absolutely no willpower.
  17. You’ve seen your abs before, so you know they exist.
  18. They’ll occasionally make an appearance if you’re sick and don’t eat that much for a few days.
  19. Or if you actually, you know, try.
  20. Cheese and alcohol are staples of your diet.
  21. And considering every diet ever makes you cut out those two things, you’re not going to start yours anytime soon.
  22. Your friends hate when you complain about your body type.
  23. They say things like, “Shut up, skinny-fat doesn’t exist!” or “If you wear a size small, you’re skinny.”
  24. The roll of fat around your stomach and the cellulite in your thighs indicates otherwise.
  25. Your muffin top can beat up all the other muffin tops out there.
  26. You’ve tried eating healthier, but you just love cheeseburgers and chicken tenders too much to give them up.
  27. The fat on your body likes to hang out in the same place. Usually your lower belly, thighs, and arms.
  28. If you flap your arms hard enough, you might literally be able to fly away, but yeah, people still consider you “skinny.”
  29. And whenever your weight is more up than down, the weight conveniently appears on just those problem areas.
  30. You literally just want to lose three pounds, but all in one area.
  31. You didn’t know it was possible for someone of your weight to have seven chins.
  32. Whenever you’re out to dinner and someone asks you, “Are you really going to eat all that?” you take it as a challenge.
  33. You can. And you do.
  34. “Where does it all go?” is usually that same person’s follow up question.
  35. You don’t have an answer. You would also like to know how you can eat two entrees at dinner and not become obese.
  36. You should be studied. You’re like a medical marvel.
  37. You’ve accepted the fact that you’ll never have a flat stomach or thinner thighs.
  38. You’ve come to love your pot belly and your thunder thighs.
  39. Maybe one day when your metabolism slows down you’ll change, but for now, you’re perfectly happy living the skinny-fat lifestyle.

Pass the cookies.

Email this to a friend

Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

New Stories

Load More