Being a woman is hard nowadays. We have to put up with all of the lazy guys who won’t think of new ways to approach girls. Instead they just copy pickup lines that their dad used. By now, we’ve heard all of the same basic lines out there. Even our mothers and grandmothers have heard some of the same pickup lines that dudes STILL use to this day. At this point, it can get pretty obnoxious. Do you really want a guy who can’t think for his own? No. So here’s what you should say next time a guy uses a pickup line from the 80s.
1. Pickup Line: “Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.”
Response: “I think it was history, which is what you should be right now.”
2. Pickup Line: “Did it hurt…when you fell from heaven?”
Comeback: “I dug my way up from hell.”
3. Pickup Line: “If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
Comeback: “If I said I wanted to check out your ass, would you turn around and walk away?”
4. Pickup Line: “Can I buy you a drink?”
Comeback: “Nah. But I’ll take the money anyway.”
5. Pickup Line: “Hey, what’s your sign?”
Comeback: “Exit.”
6. Pickup Line: “Hey. Let’s play ‘carpenter.’ First we get hammered, then I nail you.”
Comeback: “I highly doubt you have enough wood.”
7. Pickup Line: “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?”
Comeback: “I’d rather freeze.”
8. Pickup Line: “You look a lot like my next girlfriend.”
Comeback: “And you look like the guy I turn down two seconds from now.”
9. Pickup Line: “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.”
Comeback: “Are you from the Bermuda Triangle? Because you should vanish.”
10. Pickup Line: “I bet I can make your bed rock.”
Comeback: “No you can’t. I have a Tempurpedic.”
11. Pickup Line: “Here I am! What are your other two wishes?”
Comeback: “That you go away and a hot guy replaces you.”
12. Pickup Line: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Comeback: “Good. Let’s start with your bank account.”
13. Pickup Line: “I didn’t know angels flew so low.”
Comeback: “Yeah, I died 15 years ago, just like that pickup line.”
14. Pickup Line: “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”
Comeback: “Actually, it’s you. Because you just crashed and burned.”
15. Pickup Line: “So what do you do for a living?”
Comeback: “I’m a female impersonator.”
16. Pickup Line: “I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?”
Comeback: “I’m no doctor, but it sounds like you have dyslexia.”
17. Pickup Line: “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.”
Comeback: “No. But you must be a jury notice, because I’m trying to avoid you.”
18. Pickup Line: “You are the reason why men fall in love.”
Comeback: “And you are the reason why women don’t.”
19. Pickup Line: “If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.”
Comeback: “And if you were a vegetable, you’d be a tomat-no.”
20. Pickup Line: “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”
Comeback: “I worship Satan.”
21. Pickup Line: “Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper.”
Comeback: “No, but I know how to kick balls really hard.”
22. Pickup Line: “Hi, I’m a millionaire.”
Comeback: “Hi, I work for the IRS. Now give me all your money.”
23. Pickup Line: “Your body is a wonderland.”
Comeback: “And yours is a wasteland.”
24. Pickup Line: “Haven’t we met before? Or was I just dreaming?”
Comeback: “We have. I’m the receptionist at the STD clinic.”
25. Pickup Line: “Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want this year?”
Comeback: “Can I have your picture so I can show the cops who to look for?”
26. Pickup Line: “Was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world?”
Comeback: “The only natural disaster around here is you.”
27. Pickup Line: “If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.”
Comeback: “Shit. Let’s hope not. I’m already on the run.”
28. Pickup Line: “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together.”
Comeback: “Interesting. I can picture you leaving.”
29. Pickup Line: “Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.”
Comeback: “It looks a little clingy.”
30. Pickup Line: “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
Comeback: “Yeah, but this time just keep walking.”
31. Pickup Line: “Wow. You make all the other girls in this bar look ugly.”
Comeback: “Are you calling my BFF ugly?!”
32. Pickup Line: “Is your name Mickey? Because you’re so fine you blow my mind.”
Comeback: “No, it’s Mini. I think you can relate.”
33. Pickup Line: “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put “U” and “I” together.”
Comeback: “Really? I’d put “F” and “U” together.”
34. Pickup Line: “Where have you been all my life?”
Comeback: “Avoiding guys like you.”
35. Pickup Line: “I’m sorry, but do I know you from somewhere?”
Comeback: “Yeah, I met you at the last family reunion.”
36. Pickup Line: “Looks like you dropped something…my jaw.”
Comeback: “Looks like you dropped something too…your dignity.”
37. Pickup Line: “Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
Comeback: “No, but I wish you would get lost elsewhere.”
38. Pickup Line: “I’d really like to get into your pants.”
Comeback: “Nah. There’s already one asshole in there.”
39. Pickup Line: “Was your dad a boxer? Cause you’re a knockout.”
Comeback: “No. But he will still knock out creeps like you.”
40. Pickup Line: “Do you live in a corn field? Because I’m stalking you.”
Comeback: “Yeah. I’m one of the children of the corn.”
41. Pickup Line: “On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?”
Comeback: “North Korea.”
Nice try, fellas. Come back when you have more original lines..
Nice Move113
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Kellie Stritz
Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.
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