41 Signs You’re A Sasshole

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A sasshole is someone who is incredibly sassy, but also a little bit of an asshole. It’s someone who is entertaining at best, and offensive at worst. If a sasshole wasn’t so hilariously funny, they would be a complete and utter jerk, but since most of their remarks are laugh out loud hilarious, we tolerate them. Even if we didn’t, they wouldn’t care. Sassholes have confidence out the ass, and they aren’t afraid to step on anyone’s toes. You love them, you hate them, you might be one, and here’s how you know:

  1. People who don’t know you think you’re a bitch.
  2. People who do know you also think you’re a bitch, but a hilarious bitch.
  3. For you, flirting consists of a series of witty insults (sometimes veiled as compliments).
  4. Absolutely everything that comes out of your mouth is dripping with sarcasm.
  5. You’re always the one who says the one thing everyone else is thinking but would never say out loud.
  6. And yet they still look surprised when you say it out loud.
  7. You don’t discriminate; you judge everyone.
  8. You’re the kind of girl who hates cuddling and never stays the night.
  9. Guys love you cause you can keep up with them.
  10. Girls hate you because you literally don’t care if you make a fool of yourself and anyone around you.
  11. Drunk or sober, you’re the life of the party.
  12. You haven’t had a ton of boyfriends, because you haven’t found someone who can appreciate your crude sense of humor and who gives it right back to you.
  13. You’re known as the “funny” girl, which to you is a million times better than being just another “pretty” girl.
  14. You’re a pro at saying the most hilarious thing at the most inappropriate time.
  15. You think most people are stupid.
  16. And you’ll tell most people they’re stupid.
  17. When guys actually try and flirt with you, you take it as an opportunity to troll the shit out of them.
  18. You’re the one friend who always steals another friend’s phone and texts “So what’s it like living with a micropenis?” to any guy in her recent messages.
  19. You accept any and all dares.
  20. Your confidence cup is constantly overflowing.
  21. Your friends, exes, and even parents are convinced you don’t have feelings.
  22. You do, though. They’re just hidden under mountains and mountains of attitude.
  23. You leave the worst best comments on your friends’ sappy Instagram posts.
  24. You don’t understand what a “filter” is or why everyone insists that you need one.
  25. You say “bye” to people’s faces.
  26. And you don’t see the problem with literally dismissing people from your presence.
  27. “Sorry not sorry” should be a permanent sign on your forehead.
  28. Your entire life should come with a NSFW warning.
  29. You’ve been told multiple times that you deserve to have your own TV show.
  30. You aren’t afraid to put anyone on blast.
  31. Not only are you not afraid, you actually enjoy it.
  32. You call everyone a bitch. Or an ass. Or both.
  33. Sometimes you wonder how you still have friends.
  34. Then you remember that they’re the only ones who understand your humor.
  35. When people say you’re being rude, you just say you’re being honest.
  36. You don’t sugarcoat anything.
  37. You have your read receipts on so people know when you’re ignoring them.
  38. You’ve been known to throw up a middle finger in pictures.
  39. You never “throw shade,” you just say it to their face.
  40. There’s a fine line between being sassy and being an asshole, and you cross it daily.
  41. When your friend sends this list to you, you take it as a compliment.

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Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: [email protected] (not .com).

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