- Pinterest Wedding Boards: Boys think you’re crazy, but to be honest, I just like looking at pretty things. Flowers. Dresses. Pastels. Pretty.
- Blacking Out: A sign you drink too much or your body is protecting you from embarrassment? Sometimes it’s for the best.
- Lots Of Makeup: We lie and say we like a “natural look,” but when you can contour, why wouldn’t you?
- Boxed Wine: My palette is not refined. I’m going to drink way too much, so why spend more than $6 to do that?
- Cheap Liquor: Same logic. Burnett’s, Castillo, and Kentucky Gentleman are all I need to get by.
- Throwing Up: Generally caused by the above. Puke and rally isn’t just a phrase–it’s a way of life.
- Tan Lines: When you’re super pale, they are a point of pride, not inconvenience.
- Being Gossiped About: What is it they say? Oh, right, haters make me famous.
- Rain: Please rain on my parade. It gives me the excuse to skip class and watch movies.
- Hangovers: Sometimes I need to be punished for the night before. It keeps me grounded.
- “Real Housewives”: Trashy? Yes. Do I still envy them? Yes.
- That One Bitch: Everyone has one. You’ll never be friends, but she gives you the competition you need to improve yourself.
- My Two-Hour Beauty Routine: Some meditate; I do my hair. It keeps me zen.
- Fake Jewelry: I’ll probably lose it at the bar or at a boy’s house.
- One Direction: They’re cute and I’m not over *NSYNC.
- Booty Calls: I may or may not come over, but glad you’re thinking of me.
- Resting Bitch Face: It lets everyone know not to fuck with me, even when I’m in a good mood.
- Sweatpants: Forbidden love is the best love.
- Miley Cyrus: I respect her game. Keep it weird.
- Dad Bodies: Tall, husky, probably has a beer belly. It’s strangely hot.
- Drunk Crying: Crying sober is too real. Drunk crying is so basic, but so cathartic.
- Read Receipts: I want you to know you’re being ignored.
- Being Sick: Soup and “SVU” marathons. When else do you have time for that?
- Dumb Majors: When 80 percent of the other comm majors are idiots, you’re already ahead of the competition.
- Golf: No, it’s not boring. There’s a reason men love it, ladies. They dress up, drink, and there’s always a little friendly competition.
- Dead Cell Phones: It forces you to connect with everyone around you.
- Gay Boyfriends: It’s rude of them to use my friends as beards, but I need their opinions on my outfit and the last episode of “KUWTK.”
- Hooking Up With GDIs: They force me to talk about something other than Greek life. Plus, I’m prettier than 99 percent of their friends.
- Not Being Super Skinny: If I have to give up beer for a thigh gap, I don’t need a thigh gap.
- Sluts: They keep life interesting and they don’t give a shit what you think.
- Screenshotting: Not sorry. I need them to document my friends’ best and most embarrassing moments.
- Being Single: I like my friends more than 99.9 percent of the men I meet. A boyfriend would take too much time away from them, and he probably wouldn’t treat me as well as they do.
- Short Hair: When it’s 90 degrees and humid, no one wants waist-length hair.
- Being Broke In College: It’s taught me how to budget like an adult. For example, Wet Wednesday at a local dive bar is more affordable than a Friday in D.C.
- Unreasonable Heels: Nothing makes you feel like the HBIC like a fierce pair of pumps.
- War Movies: Why do guys think we hate action movies? Hot guys, explosions, and patriotism: three of my favorite things.
- Pitbull: He’s old and his music isn’t amazing–but nothing makes a white girl get wild like Timber.
- Walk Of Shame: It’s a stride of pride, and it gives you time to quietly reflect before your friends demand every detail upon your arrival.
- Finals: In my experience, way more time is spent drinking and procrastinating than studying.
- Assholes: If you need an explanation, you’ll never understand.
- Girls: They may be bitches, but so am I. They’re your partners in crime, your confidants, and when used correctly, your biggest allies.
Read “41 Things You’re Supposed To Love But You Completely Hate” here.
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