43 College Skills You Wish You Could Put On Your Resume


  1. Crafting tons of things for your little in a very, very short amount of time.
  2. Same goes for formal coolers.
  3. Sending drunk texts that make complete sense.
  4. Or at least, somewhat make sense.
  5. Being able to bong beers like a frat guy.
  6. Or knowing how to graciously decline without looking like a bitch.
  7. Being able to pick out the perfect pretty, unique, and slutty but not too slutty formal dress.
  8. Showing up to class extremely hungover but still being a functional(ish) human.
  9. And getting through the class without vomiting.
  10. Or at least, not vomiting until you make it to the bathroom.
  11. Getting yourself home after a night of drinking.
  12. Professional swearer.
  13. Being able to do body shots like a champ.
  14. Not only do you not fear glitter, you embrace it.
  15. You can stay awake for twenty-four hours straight, and still be down for happy hour.
  16. Juggling a social life and school? Yeah, you got that down.
  17. You manage to casually have mental breakdowns at least three times a week and always recover in time for chapter.
  18. Or have a totally believable excuses for getting out of chapter.
  19. You plan the best mixers, parties, and pregames.
  20. And you ALWAYS win at “Never Have I Ever.” Losing is actually winning in “Never Have I Ever” right?
  21. You can bedazzle water jugs like it’s your life calling.
  22. You’re a risk taker when it comes to mixing new drinks.
  23. And a risk taker when it comes to drinking those new drinks.
  24. You care about the environment because you always drink straight from the wine bottle.
  25. And the liquor bottle.
  26. And you don’t even need a chaser.
  27. You can convince almost anyone to buy you drinks and/or drunk food.
  28. Sleeping anytime, anywhere? Yeah. You got that on lock.
  29. And you’ve been a master of the walk of shame for many a year now.
  30. Yes, you are sweetheart of (insert fraternity name here).
  31. Waking up after a night of drinking and still having your phone, keys and wallet on you is the name of your game.
  32. And sometimes even waking up in your actual bed the next morning, by yourself. Sometimes.
  33. Plus uoi almost always remember the previous night in vivid detail. Or at least hazy detail.
  34. You can be a complete wreck on the weekends but always pull it together during the week.
  35. Managing to be an, at least okay student despite the weekday bar crawls.
  36. Having the absolute best costumes at any and all themed mixers.
  37. You pick up the best new members during recruitment. Seriously. Ask anyone.
  38. You’re able to contour without looking like a *complete* mess.
  39. The cutest family pictures at every sorority function? Yours. Always yours.
  40. Actually being able to hold your own in drinking games.
  41. And still waking up in time for brunch every Sunday.
  42. Always reaching triple digit likes, whatever you post on social media.
  43. And despite the fights, the disagreements, and the amount of time you spend together, having endless love for your sisters. If that’s not patience, I don’t know what is.

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I'm Ashley and I get wine drunk by myself more than I should, eat my weight in tacos and make bad choices. I'm a ball at parties and only slightly embarrassing. Enjoy the shit I write. xoxo.

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