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5 Sigma Nus Arrested For Stealing Plants (Like Drugs?) No, Real Plants

Stolen Plants

Don’t you just hate it when you have a great idea about how to make an event 5000% more awesome, but exec is all “It’s not in the budget.” It’s like…exec, you keep using that word “budget,” and I’m not even entirely sure what it means, so to hell if you think I’m going to let it restrict me. Some people are such buzzkills, ya know? Five USC students must have had a similar thought process when they recently attempted the most high school heist of all time: lawn shopping.

The students, reportedly Sigma Nus, were caught Wednesday night stealing a bunch of plants. Why? Because their fraternity has an upcoming “Rumble” party (Rumble in the Jungle?) and they needed some palm varieties — all the palm varieties. The boys were pulled over with the tops of several palm plants, pruning sheers, some knives, and some lawn statues — three ducks, a cat, and a Buddha. I’m not sure if those all really go with the theme, but it’s a hilariously motley bunch, if you ask me.

You’d think people would just be all “Oh, kids these days. As long as they replace my inexplicably pretentious tree, I won’t press charges.” You might even think that some folks might not even need the shrubs replaced — the boys didn’t seem to unroot anything, and as you all may know, plants grow. But nope. The five have been arrested on suspicion of grand theft and conspiracy to commit grand theft.

And now they won’t be able to rumble in the jungle, but a rumble in your prison cell sounds more hardcore anyway.

[via Pasadena Star News]

Image via Alhambra Police Department

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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