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5 Tips To Ensure You’re Ready For Recruitment

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If you haven’t noticed by all the recent social media posts of girls throwing what they know overlaid with adorable quotes and swirly Greek letters, spring recruitment is afoot. A lot of schools do this so girls have a better chance to “get to know one another” before making their big choice. (AKA, you have plenty of extra time to judge each house on which one has the hottest, smartest, and best dressed girls before shelling out your dues.) Whether your school has rush week in the spring or fall, everyone knows it can be a tad bit stressful — I know of a girl who actually passed out on preference night. There’s no denying it sucks, but with these tips, I assure you that potential new members will get bids from their first choice houses and sisters will bring in the girls they love. Or, you know, something like that.

Tip 1: Forget about homework.
Obviously, you shouldn’t completely forget about it, but forget about having extra time to lounge in the library for some casual studying. You need to get your shit done, so get it done early. Between trying to primp your hair, memorize songs, rehearse the skit, and practice your speech on sisterhood, there won’t be much time for anything else.

Tip 2: Stock up on low-calorie snacks.
You need to “look your best.” You want to “lose three pounds.” You’re “on a low-carb diet.” We get it, but starving yourself will only make you look tired and act bitchier than normal. Even if you’re dieting, you can stay bright, happy, and hydrated with fruits, veggies, and plenty of water. If you’re worried about looking extra thin, do some crunches or — even better — go get yourself some spanks.

Tip 3: Get help from seasoned professionals (read: hot alumnae).
Besides reading the hilariously written Dirty Rush, definitely DO NOT take advice from recruitment books. I’ve never actually read one of those manuals, but I’m assuming they’re all full of white gloves, hand-holding, and themes like “under the sea.” If you’re the recruitment chair this spring, what you need is help from true sorority veterans. Past sisters will know what to expect, what food to serve, what decorations won’t look tacky, and what color of lip gloss looks best with every outfit. If you’re a PNM right now, you had all fall semester to “get to know” the sororities, so let’s hope that’s what you did. Or you could just look at their social media accounts. It’s basically the same thing.

Tip 4: Look SAS but not TSTC.
First, you should read up on the dos and don’ts of a perfect recruitment wardrobe. The goal here is to look your best, stay true to yourself, and not go crazy with your look. We get it — you’re at recruitment for a reason. Honestly, though, showing something unique to you is much more important than displaying every designer bracelet and necklace you own in one ensemble. Trust me.

Tip 5: Pop a Xanax and try not to freak out.
Relax, y’all, I’m only kidding about the Xanax part. Okay, well, half kidding. If you’re a sister reading this, you absolutely cannot start a fight with your recruitment chair, and don’t make anyone cry unless you are the recruitment chair. If you’re a PNM, stop nervously playing with your hair, remember to smile, and don’t eat anything that has the potential to be messy or give you weird breath. If you look stressed, worried, anxious, scared, or all of the above, then you won’t be representing your true self. Just be who you are, hope for the best, and the rest will all work itself out.

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premed donna

Who said you can't be smart and funny? When I'm not writing for TSM, you can find me studying into oblivion, downing a bottle of chardonnay, and/or sobbing for reasons I have yet to understand. All hate fan mail can be sent to premed.donna.tsm@gmail.com.

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