58 Reasons Being A Girl Is Lowkey The Worst


  1. Those flecks of mascara that somehow migrate from your lashes to your eyeball and temporarily blind you.
  2. Liking a guy and wanting to hang out but not wanting to seem clingy.
  3. Double standards.
  4. When he double texts you, it’s exciting. When you double text him, you feel like a psycho.
  5. When your nail polish top gets stuck to the bottle and you can’t open it.
  6. Girl code is never adhered to as strictly as guy code.
  7. Involuntarily reading too far into a situation.
  8. Being called crazy.
  9. Actually being crazy.
  10. The span of time when you’re cranky and bitchy for seemingly no reason and then your period starts the next day.
  11. Being attracted to fuckboys.
  12. It’s perfectly acceptable for guys to wear sweatshirts out at night but we have to wear a full face of makeup and those dang deep-v, lace-up shirts that everyone has right now.
  13. Having to go without a jacket because it would clash with your outfit.
  14. Having to put on makeup.
  15. Having to take off makeup.
  16. Breaking out because you didn’t feel like taking your makeup off.
  17. The constant maintenance and money that goes into appearing hairless.
  18. Going to bed with great hair and waking up with four new cowlicks.
  19. Bad hair days.
  20. Bad face days.
  21. Bad body days.
  22. Being expected to be Martha fucking Stewart just because you were born with a vagina.
  23. Working really hard on a craft but not having it turn out the way you saw it in your head.
  24. Crying because you just feel like crying and having your boyfriend ask you what’s wrong.
  25. Everything, okay! Everything is wrong right now. Just let me cry for a minute. I let you masturbate!
  26. Having an anxiety attack because you can’t decide what to wear and you’re already running late.
  27. Black romper? Black dress? Black romper?? Black dress?? UGH.
  28. Smearing nails that you were sure were dry.
  29. Getting judged for wearing sweats to class.
  30. What? So athletes can do it but if we do, it’s social suicide?
  31. Searching for toilet paper at a frat party.
  32. Having to break in new heels.
  33. Not knowing how to walk properly in heels in the first place and hobbling like a baby deer as a result.
  34. When your period comes but you thought you had at least another three days.
  35. Being about to hook up with someone and remembering that you’re wearing grandma undies.
  36. Crying against your will.
  37. Having to wear a bra.
  38. Sitting in agony while a boy tries in vain to unclasp said bra.
  39. Seriously, it’s not that hard. Just push the hooks together until it pops. I can’t believe you have a 4.0 right now.
  40. Doing something “like a girl” is usually not a positive.
  41. Being called “honey” or “sweetie” in a condescending way.
  42. Having to deal with those girls who are your friend one day and your enemy the next.
  43. Gossip, gossip, gossip.
  44. Being expected to like certain “girly” things like wine or “The Bachelor.”
  45. When the back of your thighs and naked ass get stuck to your seat because you wanted to wear a dress.
  46. Having to get fully naked to pee in a romper.
  47. Not ordering what you actually want to eat on a date because you’re self-conscious.
  48. Putting on lotion after the shower and being too sticky to put clothes on.
  49. The fact that you probably own pants with fake pockets sewn on for “fashion.” Who the hell needs a real pocket?
  50. Definitely not girls who might need to take a tampon to the restroom.
  51. If you have sex on a regular basis without being in a relationship, you’re automatically labeled as a slut.
  52. Not just by guys, but by some girls too.
  53. See what I’m saying about girl code not being adhered to?
  54. You’ve probably cried watching a commercial at some point.
  55. You’re constantly in limbo between wanting to be single and wanting to just meet your husband already.
  56. Although you also worry constantly about whether or not you ever actually will meet your husband.
  57. Actually, you worry constantly about a lot of things that you probably don’t need to.
  58. And you’re probably never going to fall in love with a Hemsworth. Ugh.

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A native Seattleite and self-proclaimed Snapchat queen, she's been a coffee addict since she found out what a coffee bean was. Believer in and promoter of the #freeguac and #freegucci movements. She is obsessed with all things Harry Potter and has been known to stop people at parties to tell them how to remove the wine from their clothes. In her spare time, she enjoys baking, writing for TSM, and pretending like she has her act together. Hit her up @

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