College is the time you “find who you are,” “play the field,” and “find out what you like,” blah blah blah. It is also the time where you date a lot of douchebags. So I’m here to warn you of the dangers that come with the six guys you’ll fall for in college that will make you appreciate your future (millionaire) husband that much more.
The Noncommittal
The noncommittal knows how to keep his distance, but keep you coming back for more. He knows which sorority will have the best looking new babies, so he’s ready to prowl come bid day. He invites you to the parties, bats his pretty blue eyes, makes you ~giggle,~ but then makes you feel crazy for kicking down his door at 3 a.m. when he won’t answer your texts. You just wanted to come over, right? My noncommittal has talked to/dated/screwed over four of my pledge class sisters by now.
The Confused
He’s a romantic, which at first is a breath of fresh air, until you turn him down. Then you have to prepare for World War III. My sexually confused love affair took a turn for the worse when I refused to sleep with him. He then told me I “had a wide-set vagina” (which doesn’t make sense, seeing he never got in contact with it). But yes. He quoted Mean Girls. He quoted MEAN GIRLS to try to insult me. And that’s when I knew he was gay.
The Ladder Climber
This guy is only interested in you to get to your Big. Period.
The Tool
This guy is THE WORST. He’ll always pick his friends over you, and he’ll make you feel crazy when you show up to the party that he invited you to expecting to hang out with him. He’ll act like he’s not into you and let his friends be mean to you, all for the sake of keeping his ego properly boosted. Run for the hills, girls.
The Professional Student
Going on year seven, and he still doesn’t have his Bachelor’s degree. You would think he’s the president of his fraternity by how much he is still there. He’s legitimately 3-5 years older than everyone else at the party, and still has “Rush Pi Kapp” in his Twitter bio.
The Athlete
Athletes have a false sense of entitlement. They think they can have any girl they want, whenever they want. Some girls fall over their cleats and make it easy for them get walked all over. Don’t be that girl. Because at the end of the day, their glory days end the second they walk across that graduation stage. And even if they do go on to the “big leagues,” by age 26 they’ll be unemployed and asking their parents for financial help.
Whether you are a freshman trying to find your way or a senior who realizes no guy will ever be good enough for you, steer clear of these dudes. Good luck and good hunting, ladies..
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